Your Traffic Goat Personality Quiz
We currently have five Traffic Goats on staff, any of which would be proud to have you as their protector.
Take this short quiz to see which Traffic Goat might best travel with you--Buffalo Billy, Nanny-Kinz, Uncle Sam, Nanko, or Captain Kidd.
Results are just for fun, and are not tracked or recorded. Feel free to use a creative alias and share or print your results!
(Optimized for Google Chrome, and kind of wonky in Microsoft Edge. . . )
- 1.
The type of vehicle I am in or on most often, is a:
- A.
Truck
- B.
Sedan
- C.
Minivan
- D.
Sports Car
- E.
Big Rig
- F.
Motorcycle
- G.
Bicycle
- H.
Skateboard
- I.
SUV
-
- 2.
My driving experience is best described as:
- A.
I’m a professional
- B.
60+ years
- C.
40-59 years
- D.
20-39 years
- E.
6-19 years
- F.
1-5 years
- G.
I'm just learning
- H.
I don’t drive yet
-
- 3.
My favorite weather driving conditions are:
- A.
Bright & Clear
- B.
Dark & Windy
- C.
Wet & Rainy
- D.
Hot & Dry
- E.
Cold & Snowy
-
- 4.
My favorite music to listen to while in the car is:
- A.
Country. Cuz if it ain't country, it ain't music.
- B.
Pop. As in popular. Duh.
- C.
Rock & Roll. Invented in and for cars.
- D.
Hip Hop. Pump up the thump.
- E.
Classical. Pardon me, but do you have some Beethoven?
- F.
Oldies. Because they're all goodies.
- G.
Gospel. Clap your hands!
- H.
Jazz. You wouldn't understand.
- I.
Other (I can't believe you left my music off this list!)
-
- 5.
When I get a flat tire, I...
- A.
...panic and curl up in the fetal position. Is there anything worse in the world? I'm fired.
- B.
...panic, but then remember to call Triple-A. And I'm an hour and 20 minutes late for work.
- C.
...fumble around for about 43 minutes but finally get it changed. Only 33 minutes late for work.
- D.
...know what to do and get done in 20 minutes. Only five minutes late for work. Nobody even noticed.
- E.
...live for this. Time me, Ralphie! And still three minutes to spare. Hah!
-
- 6.
The car I drive or ride in was made in:
- A.
The USA, baby!
- B.
Japan. I’ve upped my standards, so up yours. Arigato, konichiwa.
- C.
France, you fool!
- D.
Italy. Go for a ride?
- E.
England, Her Majesty’s model, of course.
- F.
Germany. Ah, the autobahn!
- G.
Yugoslavia, remember the Yugo?
- H.
Other (Like Cuba, Soviet Union, North Korea, and other fine automakers.)
-
- 7.
While driving my 1 to 3-ton vehicle on public roads, I am most often seen:
- A.
Applying makeup. What? It's not okay to fard in the car?
- B.
Eating with one hand, driving with the other. Come on, it's just a cheeseburger with fries, a drink, and a turnover. Lighten up!
- C.
Smoking with one hand, driving with the other. Smoking actually relaxes me in tense traffic. My reaction time is only increased by a couple seconds.
- D.
Texting with both hands. And so yeah, I guess I'm driving with blatant disregard for my safety and the safety of everyone else. :(
- E.
I dunno. Just...driving, I guess.
-
- 8.
My favorite color for a car is:
- A.
Racing Red
- B.
Ocean Blue
- C.
Slime Green
- D.
Quick Silver
- E.
Grandma Gold
- F.
Generic White
- G.
Screaming Orange
- H.
Midnight Black
-
- 9.
My actual car is just
- A.
Reddish (Not radish. Radish Red?)
- B.
Bluish (One fish, two fish, red fish, bluish...)
- C.
Greenish (How the Greenish stole Christmas?)
- D.
White (Really just an intense mixture of red, green, and blue)
- E.
Black (The absence of all colors, so they say...)
- F.
Yellowish (Can you think of anything pleasant that is yellowish?)
- G.
Sorry, it's too dirty to know for sure.
-
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