What Grape Are You?

You're beautiful...a goddess...but so exasperating! Loving you is like worshiping an unfaithful temptress! As often as you've disappointed us with your undependable ways, you always seem to draw us back. Your alluring beauty and elegance leave us helpless and forgiving of all your moodiness. So long disdainful of any place outside of your home on the golden slopes of Burgundy, we’ve learned to pacify your temperamental nature with brisk coastal breezes and hillside vistas of the New World. Perhaps now you will grace us with all the charm and beauty that has kept the Burgundians devoted to you for centuries.  

You are the world’s greatest star. Your fame has infiltrated every nook and cranny of the globe, regardless of culture. Your public persona is often the creation of zealous image consultants. They alter your visage with a woody makeup, and drape your body with the designer apparel of Malolactic and Sur-Lees. Being on top is never easy, and the jealous backlash that calls itself 'ABC' is an insult to your greatness. Rare glimpses of your true personality reveal angular cheekbones underneath all the makeup, and steely eyes that can be sharp and engaging. With your tall stature and broad shoulders, you are capable of carrying any style. So: “Lights, camera … action!” Chardonnay, your fans await.