Quadrivial Pursuit: How Well Do You Know Reed?

25 Questions | Total Attempts: 454

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Quadrivial Pursuit: How Well Do You Know Reed?

Questions and Answers
  • 1. 
    What is famously buried under Reed's Erik V. Hauser Memorial Library?
    • A. 

      The original Doyle Owl

    • B. 

      A British sports car

    • C. 

      A time capsule to be opened in the year 2412

    • D. 

      Another, smaller library

    • E. 

      Jimmy Hoffa

  • 2. 
    In 1968, students occupied Eliot Hall demanding what?
    • A. 

      Divestment from South Africa

    • B. 

      A black studies program at Reed

    • C. 

      The release of Mumia Abu-Jamal

    • D. 

      The head of Alfredo Garcia and a cup of hot fat

    • E. 

      A shrubbery

  • 3. 
    Until the 1940s, the job now known as dean of students had what title?
    • A. 

      Dean of Men

    • B. 

      Dean of Women

    • C. 

      Dean of Discipline

    • D. 

      Master of Reality

    • E. 

      Operating Thetan Level IV

  • 4. 
    The catalogue of ships is a legendary passage in which book? 
    • A. 

      Herodotus’ Histories

    • B. 

      The Odyssey

    • C. 

      The Iliad

    • D. 

      Prof. Nite E. Nite’s Lullabies of Somnolence

    • E. 

      Shareholders’ Prospectus for the Maersk Corporation

  • 5. 
    As of 2014, how many Doyle Owls have there been at Reed?
    • A. 

      1

    • B. 

      6

    • C. 

      Would you count the smiles of a child, or the stars in the sky? (Never mind, you probably would.)

    • D. 

      23 plus or minus 11

    • E. 

      ℵ1

  • 6. 
    According to the simplified spelling system championed by Reed president William T. Foster [1910–19], how should one write the sentence, "As a sophomore, I sailed the islands in a freighter, pitching my hammock in a gallery filled with riff-raff and crumbs"?
    • A. 

      “As a sofomore, I sailed the ilands in a frater, pitching my hammoc in a gally filled with rifraf and crums.”

    • B. 

      “Az a sofmor, I saled the ilunds in a frater, piching mi hammuk in a galy fillt with riffraf and krums.”

    • C. 

      “As a semaphore, I scaled the elands with a waiter, prancing the hummocks in a gay kilt of gutta-percha and linsey-woolsey.”

    • D. 

      “Faw-fa faw-haw-haw, faw-fa-faw-haw, FAW-FA-HAW-FAW, ha-fawwww.”

  • 7. 
    Gifts to Reed's Annual Fund are essential to maintain support for which Reed activities?
    • A. 

      Financial aid for students who otherwise could not afford tuition

    • B. 

      Resources for student and faculty researchers, who might otherwise become obsessed with transmuting lead into gold

    • C. 

      Counseling for students, who might otherwise go mad with insomnia and vertiginous dialectic

    • D. 

      Maintenance of the canyon, which would otherwise degenerate into a morass of invasive species and bitter, alcoholic ducks

    • E. 

      All of the above

  • 8. 
    What is the official mascot of Reed College?
    • A. 

      The Learned Owl

    • B. 

      The Always-Industrious Beaver

    • C. 

      The Griffin, because Reed sports victories also don't actually exist

    • D. 

      The Red-Crested Grind

    • E. 

      The Fruit Bat of Futility

  • 9. 
    What benevolent saying is emblazoned on the bottom reverse of the envelope in every issue of Reed magazine?
    • A. 

      “Thank you for your support.”

    • B. 

      “Your gift makes the difference.”

    • C. 

      “History will be kind to Reed, for Reed intends to write it.”

    • D. 

      “That education is best which educates least.”

    • E. 

      “We can’t stop here; this is bat country.”

  • 10. 
    Subsequent to its founding, in what year was Reed's Seventh-Annual Nitrogen Day celebration held?
    • A. 

      1919

    • B. 

      1951

    • C. 

      1998

    • D. 

      2004

    • E. 

      Every year

  • 11. 
    What major internet-related achievement is credited to Larry Sanger '91?
    • A. 

      Made original “I can has cheezburger” meme

    • B. 

      Founded Zombo.com

    • C. 

      Only living person who has never been rickrolled

    • D. 

      Coauthored Norton Utilities software

    • E. 

      Cofounded Wikipedia

  • 12. 
    What did Reed professor Stanley Moore do in 1954?
    • A. 

      Made the now-famous observation that computer processing power doubles every 24 months

    • B. 

      Along with twin brother Livingstone Moore, originated a knockabout cross-talk act that would win the faculty talent show 19 years running

    • C. 

      Refused to answer questions from the House Un-American Activities Committee.

    • D. 

      Made a contribution to the field of relative quantities—which had previously been restricted to “less” and “the same amount”—that now bears a modified version of his name

    • E. 

      Soared to a commanding two-and-a-half-length victory in the Belmont Stakes

  • 13. 
    The first Campus Day in 1912 included what rollicking, wholesome amusement?
    • A. 

      A jolly penny-farthing-bicycle joust

    • B. 

      A gripping round of tug-of-war across the canyon

    • C. 

      A bracing spot of handlebar-moustache fencing

    • D. 

      A moving “Save the Quagga” rally

    • E. 

      A rousing game of pin the tail on the Kaiser

  • 14. 
    What became 16 times larger during the tenure of Reed president Paul Bragdon [1971–88]?
    • A. 

      Minority student representation

    • B. 

      Reed’s administrative staff

    • C. 

      Reed’s endowment

    • D. 

      Bragdon’s endowment

    • E. 

      Hulk Hogan

  • 15. 
    What was the original name of the dormitory now known as MacNaughton?
    • A. 

      New Women’s Dorm

    • B. 

      New Men’s Dorm

    • C. 

      Old Men’s Dorm

    • D. 

      Little Spandau

    • E. 

      The Quarrymen

  • 16. 
    What did former registrar Ellen Knowlton Johnson ’39 do to help seniors get their theses in by the noon deadline?
    • A. 

      Invented No-Doz

    • B. 

      Moved the deadline to noon; it had originally been 8 a.m.

    • C. 

      Instituted the highly motivational policy of burning latecomers at the stake

    • D. 

      Unplugged the clock in the registrar’s office at 11:59 a.m.

    • E. 

      Rode a braying ass around Old Dorm Block at dawn on the fateful day, banging dustbin lids together and shouting, “Wakey-wakey, ye scurvy dogs”

  • 17. 
    Which of the following is (or was) a name for the Reed College women’s rugby team?
    • A. 

      The Maulin’ Medeas

    • B. 

      Les Griffons D’Or

    • C. 

      The Echidnae

    • D. 

      The Badass Sparkle Princesses

    • E. 

      Lower Middlemarch

  • 18. 
    What key intellectual cornerstone for the Reed community was laid in 1919?
    • A. 

      The term “paradigm” was coined.

    • B. 

      The Honor Principle was enshrined in the Reed constitution.

    • C. 

      Letter grades were abolished.

    • D. 

      The first MLA Handbook was published.

    • E. 

      "Sleep-deprived weeping” became an Olympic sport.

  • 19. 
    What is Reed’s official-unofficial motto?
    • A. 

      Capitalism, Patriotism, Free Speech

    • B. 

      Communism, Atheism, Free Love

    • C. 

      Criticism, Astigmatism, Free Tuition

    • D. 

      Paganism, Humanism, Free Tibet

    • E. 

      Hedonism, Dadaism, Free Beer

  • 20. 
    The Columbus Day storm that devastated Portland in 1962 has been seen as divine retribution for what Reedie-instituted provocation?
    • A. 

      Students begin adding stories to thesis tower, with goal of reaching heaven itself.

    • B. 

      President Richard Sullivan leaves town; Reedies construct and worship golden owl in his absence.

    • C. 

      Mock crucifixion at football game.

    • D. 

      Mock football game at crucifixion.

    • E. 

      Students rewrite Old Testament as a slash-and-stalk epic titled Vengeance Is Up for Grabs.

  • 21. 
    The fuel stockpile for Reed’s nuclear reactor comprises what?
    • A. 

      6 kg of plutonium repurposed from the Hanford Nuclear Reservation.

    • B. 

      3 kg of uranium scrounged from the University of Arizona.

    • C. 

      1 kg of thorium on loan from the Department of Energy.

    • D. 

      Original birth heart of former U.S. Vice President Richard B. Cheney.

    • E. 

      Glowing, telepathic green orb pursued by a sword-wielding alien woman in metal underwear.

  • 22. 
    What is the formal name of the Portland “tall-bike” club founded by Karl Anderson ’95?
    • A. 

      The Portland Tall Bike Club.

    • B. 

      Tribulation 99.

    • C. 

      Compound Fracture Society.

    • D. 

      Chunk 666.

    • E. 

      They have no formal name, sneering at your ersatz concept of bourgeois formality.

  • 23. 
    According to legend, the first Doyle Owl came from where?
    • A. 

      Sprang fully formed from the brow of Reed president Dexter M. Keezer.

    • B. 

      Wrenched in a midnight raid from the roof of Old Dorm Block.

    • C. 

      Live pet owl belonging to student makes mistake of staring directly into the eyes of anthropology professor Gail Kelly.

    • D. 

      Lawn decoration stolen from Eastmoreland house.

    • E. 

      Has always existed; the college—nay, the world—was constructed around it.

  • 24. 
    Reed president Richard F. Scholz is famous for doing what?
    • A. 

      Banning fraternities, sororities, and intercollegiate sports at Reed.

    • B. 

      Instituting a broad humanities requirement for all students.

    • C. 

      Catching cold at his own inauguration and dying a scant 41 days later.

    • D. 

      Other than that, Mrs. Scholz, how was the play?

    • E. 

      Siring legendary guitarist for the band Boston, Tom Scholz.

  • 25. 
    How many Reedies does it take to screw in a light bulb?   
    • A. 

      Reedies don’t screw in light bulbs; they screw in the SU loft.

    • B. 

      Five. One to screw it in, four to get the PE credit.

    • C. 

      Only one, but it takes six years.

    • D. 

      None, just glue it to your thesis and let your universe revolve around it.

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