Am I Passive-Aggressive Quiz: Spot How You Show Frustration

1. A friend cancels plans at the last minute. What's your most likely reaction?

Say 'It's fine' but feel annoyed for days and bring it up indirectly later

Tell them honestly that it bothered you and ask them to give more notice next time

Shrug it off and say nothing, even though you're disappointed

Make a small sarcastic comment but then let it go

2. Someone at work takes credit for your idea in a meeting. How do you handle it?

Stay quiet in the meeting but complain to colleagues afterward

Politely but clearly state that the idea was yours in the moment

Feel upset but decide it's not worth the drama and move on silently

Drop a hint later like 'Glad my idea worked out for everyone'

3. Your partner forgets something important to you. What do you do?

Give them the cold shoulder without explaining why

Calmly explain how it made you feel and what you need from them

Pretend it doesn't matter even though it really does

Make a slightly passive comment like 'Must be nice to forget things so easily'

4. How often do you say 'I'm fine' when you're clearly not?

Very often — it's almost automatic

Sometimes, especially when I don't want to deal with it right then

Rarely — I prefer to say what's actually going on

Often — I'd rather keep the peace than open a can of worms

5. A family member keeps giving you unsolicited advice. You:

Smile and nod, then vent about it to someone else later

Kindly but firmly tell them you didn't ask for their input

Say nothing and just try to avoid them more

Respond with a slightly sarcastic 'Thanks, I'll keep that in mind'

6. When you're upset with someone, what's your go-to behavior?

Withdraw and give them the silent treatment

Talk to them directly about what's bothering me

Avoid them entirely until the feeling passes

Act a little cold but don't fully explain why

7. You disagree with a decision made by your group. What do you do?

Agree in the moment but subtly undermine the plan later

Voice your disagreement clearly and suggest an alternative

Go along with it even if you think it's wrong

Grumble about it quietly but ultimately go along

8. Someone interrupts you repeatedly during a conversation. You:

Stop talking altogether and give one-word answers for the rest of the chat

Say 'Please let me finish — I wasn't done yet'

Let it go and just stop trying to share your point

Make a pointed comment like 'Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were done'

9. How do you typically respond when someone asks if you're angry?

Say 'No, I'm fine' with a tone that clearly says otherwise

Admit that yes, something is bothering me and explain what it is

Deny it completely and change the subject

Say 'A little, but it's nothing' and leave it vague

10. A coworker consistently leaves their mess for others to clean up. You:

Leave passive notes or do things that make their work harder without saying why

Bring it up directly with them in a calm, non-confrontational way

Just clean it up yourself and say nothing to avoid conflict

Mention it with a sigh and a pointed look but don't say it outright

11. When you feel unappreciated, what's your most common response?

Stop doing things for others and wait for them to notice

Tell the people involved that you'd like more acknowledgment

Internalize it and convince yourself it doesn't matter

Drop subtle hints that you've been working hard without saying it directly

12. You're asked to do something you really don't want to do. You:

Agree but then do it poorly or very slowly on purpose

Politely decline or negotiate a compromise

Do it without complaint even though you resent it

Agree but complain about it under your breath or to others

13. How do you handle it when someone repeatedly lets you down?

Become increasingly cold and distant without ever explaining why

Have an honest conversation about the pattern and its impact on you

Lower your expectations and say nothing, hoping things will change

Make occasional digs but never fully address the real issue

14. Someone gives you feedback you disagree with. Your reaction?

Smile and say 'Thanks' but then ignore it and feel resentful

Respectfully share your perspective and explain why you see it differently

Accept it without pushback even if you completely disagree

Say 'Interesting' in a tone that makes it clear you don't agree

15. After an argument, what do you usually do?

Act like everything is fine on the surface but hold a grudge underneath

Work toward a resolution and check in to make sure both sides feel heard

Pretend it never happened and hope the tension fades on its own

Partially make up but keep a slight emotional distance for a while