What Type of Village Cricketer Are You?

1. You wake up. Cricket today. What is the best possible outcome?

Hitting a 100 in a losing side.

Game being called off, spend the day in the club house having pints.

A hard fought victory after a good contest between bat and ball.

A clean clubhouse with everyone paying their fees on time.

An opportunity to have a good bat and bowl.

2. Which option are you most likely to do/say when trying to get a batsman out?

I don't sledge, it's just not cricket.

You count the number of balls since they last scored a run outloud.

"You really are sh*t aren't you!"

"More leaves than a tree!"

"Bowl him a short one, see if he can pull like his sister."

3. You are umpiring and your captain is trapped LBW. You should give him out. What do you do?

No one gives LBW's in village cricket. You give it not out.

Sorry, rules are rules and you are plumb, you give him out.

You weren't watching as you were day dreaming. You give it not out.

You can't give him out, you want to bowl today.

The lads on the other team seem like good blokes. You are fair and give it out.

4. You walk to the crease and you are getting sledged by the wicketkeeper. How do you respond?

Ignore him, it's not worth making the club look bad.

You laugh it off and even manage to make him smile with some equally poor chat about your own batting.

You stare back aggressively.

You walk away every time he starts talking and complain to the umpire. It's just not cricket.

You smile, it's just nice to be involved.

5. The toss is about to take place. What are you doing?

Sucking up to the captain, maybe he'll finally let me bowl.

Looking at the opposition's recent results and offering insight on the state of the wicket.

Getting someone to give me lots of throw downs.

Helping put out the boundary flags.

Trying to disguise the horrific hangover.

6. The opposition need 3 runs to win and are 9 wickets down. A nervous 13 year old walks to the crease, how do you react?

Wish him the best of luck, he's 13 after all.

Ask the skipper to put you on to bowl. It's your moment and there's a rabbit in the headlights!

Advise the captain how we should change the field to adapt to the young batsman.

Start sledging him, he's going to crumble!

Position yourself at silly mid off without consulting the captain. I can add to my catches tally here.

7. Time for tea! Which description most resembles you?

Wearing flip-flops, and shorts. You start throwing some border line banter around your own team mates.

Your mum probably made tea and it's your favourite part of the day. Even though you are playing at home, you go before the opposition and pile your plate up.

You let the opposition go first and help put the tea out.

You don't talk to anyone, I don't need to hear about Martin's grandchildren. You scroll through your phone.

You analyse the most recent innings with your team mates and discuss future tactics.

8. You're batting first. The Captain asks you to umpire, how do you respond?

"Not my problem, I need to focus on my game and have more throw downs."

"I guess so if no one else is keen, I'm batting lower down the order anyway."

"I would but I'm already scoring!"

"I'm feeling a bit hungover, I'll do the next stint."

"If we all do a 10 over stint it won't be too bad"

9. You win the match in dramatic fashion. What are you doing 5 minutes later?

You are on the phone to see how the other teams in your club got on.

Passing alcohol around from the jug I've had to buy for hitting runs again!

Assessing where we are in the league and working out whether we can still go up.

Taking an extra long shower accompanied with cans to celebrate with a few of the boys.

You are still in full whites and darting straight towards the left overs from teas.

10. The wicketkeeper eventually gets in your head. You played across the line to a 12 year old leggy and get dismissed for a duck. How do you react?

"Un-Fuc*ing Believable" you shout as you walk into the changing rooms. You throw your gloves, bat and helmet around the changing room making the debutante who's just come out of the toilet feel very awkward.

You don't say a word. Take your kit off, and go for a quiet walk around the boundary with a senior player.

You sit down on the bench with everyone and explain how you didn't read the non-existent spin.

You try to contain the laughter yourself as you can't believe what has just happened. You laugh about it with the lads for the rest of the day.

You give a pathetic "sorry lads" as you cross the boundary line. You feel like you've let people down.

What Type Of Village Cricketer Are You?