Avoidant Attachment Quiz: Check How You Handle Closeness

1. When someone you're dating says 'I really like you and want to get closer,' your first instinct is to:

Feel a wave of panic and start thinking of reasons to slow things down

Feel happy and excited — that's exactly what you've been hoping to hear

Feel thrilled but immediately wonder if they really mean it

Feel both excited and terrified at the same time

2. A close friend is going through a tough time and wants to talk about their feelings. You:

Listen and offer practical solutions, but feel a bit uncomfortable with the emotional depth

Sit with them fully, offering empathy and emotional support without hesitation

Are fully present but secretly wonder if they'll be there for you when you need it

Want to help but feel overwhelmed and unsure how close to let them get

3. How do you typically feel after spending a long weekend with a romantic partner?

Relieved to have some alone time to recharge and feel like yourself again

Content and happy — you enjoyed it and look forward to the next time

A little sad it's over and already wondering when you'll see them again

Emotionally drained — closeness is wonderful but also exhausting for you

4. Your partner hasn't texted back in several hours. What goes through your mind?

Nothing much — you're busy with your own things and assume they are too

You notice it briefly but trust they'll respond when they can

You start to spiral — did you say something wrong? Are they pulling away?

You feel uneasy but try to suppress it, unsure if your worry is valid

5. When it comes to sharing your personal struggles with a partner, you tend to:

Keep most things to yourself — you prefer to handle problems on your own

Share openly when it feels relevant and trust they can handle it

Share a lot — you want them to understand you deeply and be involved

Want to share but hold back, afraid of being judged or becoming too dependent

6. During an argument with someone you care about, your most natural response is to:

Shut down, go quiet, or leave the room until things cool off

Stay engaged, express your feelings calmly, and work toward resolution

Get emotional and worry the argument means the relationship is in trouble

Alternate between wanting to fix it and wanting to run away entirely

7. How do you feel about the idea of depending on someone else emotionally?

Uncomfortable — you pride yourself on not needing anyone

Fine with it — healthy interdependence is part of a good relationship

You actually crave it — you want someone to lean on and lean on you

You want it but it terrifies you — what if they let you down?

8. When a relationship starts getting serious, you most often find yourself:

Noticing flaws in the other person and feeling less attracted to them

Feeling excited and naturally stepping into deeper commitment

Wondering if they're as committed as you are and seeking more reassurance

Feeling a mix of joy and dread — closeness is both what you want and fear

9. If a partner tells you they need more emotional intimacy from you, your gut reaction is:

To feel suffocated and wonder if this relationship is right for you

To take it seriously, reflect on it, and have an honest conversation

To feel guilty and immediately try to give them everything they need

To feel guilty but also defensive — you're trying, but it's hard for you

10. Which statement best describes your general view of romantic relationships?

They're nice but I'm perfectly fine on my own — I don't really need one

They're a meaningful part of life — I enjoy deep connection and give it freely

They're everything — I feel most alive and complete when I'm deeply connected

They're something I deeply want but also something that scares me deeply