Am I Gaslighting Quiz: See How You Handle Disagreements

1. Do you ever use someone's past vulnerabilities against them during an argument?

Yes, sometimes it's the most effective way to make my point.

Occasionally, when I feel cornered or attacked.

No, I would never want to hurt someone that way.

No, I think it's unfair and counterproductive.

2. If a close friend told you that your behavior in arguments has hurt them, what would you do?

I would question whether they're remembering things correctly.

I would feel defensive and bring up times they hurt me.

I would feel terrible and immediately apologize, even if I wasn't sure why.

I would listen carefully, reflect honestly, and work to change.

3. How important is it to you that you 'win' an argument?

Very important — I need to be right.

Somewhat important — I don't like being blamed.

Not important — I just want everyone to feel okay.

Not important — I care more about reaching a fair resolution.

4. Do you ever make someone feel like they're 'crazy' for being upset with you?

Yes, sometimes their reactions really do seem irrational to me.

I might imply it when I'm frustrated, but I don't mean it.

No, I always try to understand why they're upset.

No, I think everyone's reactions make sense from their own perspective.

5. When someone confronts you about a pattern of behavior, how do you respond?

I deny the pattern exists and question their perception.

I redirect the conversation to their patterns instead.

I feel overwhelmed and shut down.

I take it seriously and reflect on whether they have a point.

6. How do you feel about saying 'I was wrong' or 'I'm sorry'?

I avoid it — admitting fault feels like losing.

I say it sometimes, but I usually add a 'but' afterward.

It's hard for me, but I try to do it when I know I hurt someone.

I say it genuinely and without conditions when I've made a mistake.

7. After a big argument, what do you typically do?

I act like nothing happened and expect the other person to move on.

I avoid the person until things feel normal again.

I check in with them to make sure they're okay.

I initiate a calm follow-up conversation to resolve any lingering issues.

8. Have you ever told someone they're 'too emotional' or 'too sensitive' during a conflict?

Yes, often — some people really do overreact.

Sometimes, when I don't know how else to respond.

Rarely — I try to validate emotions even when I don't fully understand them.

No, I believe all emotions are valid and worth addressing.

9. When you feel criticized, what is your go-to defense?

I tell the person they're wrong about me and twist the narrative.

I point out their flaws to take the focus off me.

I go quiet and withdraw until I feel safe.

I listen to the criticism and reflect on whether it's valid.

10. How do you react when someone cries during an argument with you?

I tell them they're being manipulative or using tears to win.

I feel uncomfortable and try to end the conversation quickly.

I pause and offer comfort before continuing.

I acknowledge their feelings and give them space to express themselves.

11. When someone tells you that something you said hurt them, what is your first reaction?

I tell them they're being too sensitive and overreacting.

I change the subject or bring up something they did wrong.

I apologize and ask them to explain how they felt.

I calmly explain my intention while acknowledging their feelings.

12. When a disagreement gets emotional, what do you usually do?

I tell the other person they need to calm down before we can talk.

I leave the room or go silent.

I try to de-escalate by validating their emotions first.

I stay calm and try to keep the conversation productive.

13. How often do you find yourself saying things like 'That never happened' or 'You're imagining things'?

Fairly often — people do tend to misremember things.

Sometimes, when I want to avoid a long argument.

Rarely — I try to validate what others remember even if I see it differently.

Never — I always try to acknowledge both perspectives.

14. If someone says 'You always do this,' how do you typically respond?

I tell them that's not true and they're exaggerating.

I say 'Well, you always do that too.'

I shut down and don't say anything.

I ask them to give me specific examples so we can talk it through.

15. How do you handle it when someone is visibly upset with you?

I tell them they're being dramatic or emotional.

I walk away until things cool down.

I try to understand what they're feeling before responding.

I address the issue directly and try to resolve it.

16. Your coworker says you spoke to them rudely in a meeting. What is your response?

I tell them they misunderstood my tone completely.

I point out that they've been rude to me before too.

I apologize and ask how I can make it right.

I calmly explain my perspective and listen to theirs.

17. When you're wrong in an argument, what do you usually do?

I find a way to reframe things so it doesn't seem like I was wrong.

I bring up the other person's past mistakes to balance things out.

I admit it and apologize sincerely.

I struggle to admit it but eventually come around.

18. How do you typically feel when someone disagrees with your version of events?

Frustrated — I know what happened and they're just wrong.

Defensive — I feel like I'm being attacked.

Curious — maybe I missed something from their perspective.

Open — I'm willing to discuss it calmly and find common ground.

19. During an argument, your partner says they feel ignored by you. How do you respond?

I tell them that's ridiculous — I'm always there for them.

I remind them of all the times they ignored me first.

I go quiet and hope the conversation ends soon.

I listen carefully and ask what I can do differently.

20. A friend says they clearly remember you agreeing to something, but you don't recall it. What do you do?

I insist they're wrong and that they must have imagined it.

I say it doesn't matter now and try to move on.

I acknowledge the confusion and try to figure out what happened together.

I ask them to walk me through what they remember so I can understand.