Progressive, Conservative Or Douche?

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| By Liam_McGonagle
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Liam_McGonagle
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Progressive, Conservative Or Douche? - Quiz

Which adjective (e. G., Progressive, Conservative, or Douchebag) most accurately describes the political philosophy represented by each of the following statments?






Questions and Answers
  • 1. 

    1.  Invite the private sector, whose incompetence resulted in the current economic crisis and environmental disasters like BP's Gulf Coast Oil Leak, to choose which regulations to eliminate.http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20027211-503544.html

    • A.

      Progressive

    • B.

      Conservative

    • C.

      Douchebag

    Correct Answer
    C. Douchebag
    Explanation
    Progressives are the ones who want to raise standards of accountability. Conservatives are the ones who want to protect economic resources like Gulf fishing. Douchebags are the creeps who sell out their principles for short term gain.

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  • 2. 

    2.  Ape faux populist douchebags and undermine your own party's agenda by asking government officials to eliminate regulation on the private sector whose negligence resulted in the current economic crisis and environmental disasters like BP's Gulf Coast Oil Leak.http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/01/18/obama-orders-review-of-business-regulations/

    • A.

      Progressive

    • B.

      Conservative

    • C.

      Douchebag

    Correct Answer
    C. Douchebag
    Explanation
    Progressives are the ones whose unpopularity usually makes them political failures. Conservatives are the ones who win political debates by default because people are too lazy to imagine an alternative. Douchebags are the vermin who will betray their own party and abandon their agenda in the vain hope of acheiving popularity at any cost.

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  • 3. 

    3.  Preach fiscal responsibility while supporting a policy platform that squanders both the public treasury and the economic capacity of the nation.http://dystopiadiaries.blogspot.com/2010/11/q-how-wisely-do-wealth-friendly.html

    • A.

      Progressive

    • B.

      Conservative

    • C.

      Douchebag

    Correct Answer
    C. Douchebag
    Explanation
    Progressives pay less attention to national debt than to income inequalities. Conservatives pay less attention to income inequalities than to national debt. Douchebags give a flying fuck about any of that and sell their votes to the highest bidder.

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  • 4. 

    4.  Think that eternal warfare is a morally tenable doctrine.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/21/20-republicans-against-th_n_654435.html#s116424&title=George_F_Will

    • A.

      Progressive

    • B.

      Conservative

    • C.

      Douchebag

    Correct Answer
    C. Douchebag
    Explanation
    Progressives never believed that you could have peace at home unless you strived for peace abroad. Conservatives are only begining to learn that now. Douchebags see morality and peace as irrelevancies.

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  • 5. 

    5.  Are willing to comprimise core principles in the name of electoral politics.

    • A.

      Progressive

    • B.

      Conservative

    • C.

      Douchebag

    Correct Answer
    C. Douchebag
    Explanation
    True Progressives or Conservatives may disagree with one another on relative priorities or the sequence under which a series of tasks should be addressed, but only a real Douchebag will totally sell his soul for the sake of a vote.

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  • Current Version
  • Mar 21, 2023
    Quiz Edited by
    ProProfs Editorial Team
  • Jan 18, 2011
    Quiz Created by
    Liam_McGonagle
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