Which Badger (5) Are You?

1. Ouch! It appears you're quite under the weather. What was the cause or impairment?

Cracked a rib coughing. And I have a lung infection, and a migrane, and a really bad rash.

Definitely a sporting injury. From sports.

Playing soccer. I mean, he ALMOST tripped me!

Never! I just don't go outside.

I am a Badger.

2. If you have, one shot, one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment, would you capture it, or just let it slip?

Capture it.

Just let it slip.

Your palms are sweaty, knees week arms are heavy, there's vomit on your sweater already, mom's spaghetti...Sorry, you just really like Eminem.

Is that Welsh Heavy Metal?

I am a Badger.

3. What is your favourite minority group to make fun of?

Cody.

4. You remember the day after that you totally forgot it was your best friend's birthday yesterday. Gulp! How do you react to them?

Sorry, you converted to Jehovah's Witness yesterday, sooo...

Irrelevant. You never forget.

Sorry, you don't believe in birthdays.

Yeah, sorry... Well, now that that's over, can I 'borrow' some money for the tuck-shop?

I am a Badger.

5. You are appointed the prefect of a club at your school! What club is it?

A very heavy one, with big spikes on the end.

Why bother with clubs? Much too low-key for someone such as you.

Definitely technology.

A steampunk-themed dance club with a real disco vibe.

I am a Badger.

6. Look-alikes! People always say you look like...

Ron Weasley.

You don't know. but they're very handsome.

Anakin Skywalker.

A sheep.

I am a Badger.

7. You are given $200 by an elderly relative for your birthday. What's the first thing you spend it on?

Spend it all on an a totally neccessary computer peripheral.

Put it all into a savings account. Smart thinking.

It doesn't matter. Pirate Bay's having their 100% off sale.

Buy anything new just to show it off to friends.

I am a Badger.

8. There's a fire in your house and you only have time to save one thing! What do you grab?

Your computer!

They're going to try to make you burn either way.

My favourite Converses™!

Don't bother. Just get out there quickly so you can watch the fire.

I am a Badger.

9. You wake up on a weekend. What's the first thing you put on to go outside?

Skinny jeans and formal black clothing.

Adidas shorts. JUST Adidas shorts.

Whatever your mum bought you.

Whatever you wore for the whole last week.

I am a Badger.

10. You spy an injured animal on the side of the road. What do you do?

Huh, that's kind of cool.

Throw up. There's blood all over!

Meh. It's just an animal.

Smash it's head open with a rock, then take a selfie.

I am a Badger.

11. A person hands you a gun and offers you $1000 to kill someone for him. You won't get caught. How do you respond?

Screw it, you'll do it for FREE!

Run away screaming.

You do realize it's illegal, right?

Pick up gun and pistol-whip him in the face.

I am a Badger.

12. You've finally arrived at a beautiful beach-side holiday destination. What's the first thing you do?

Oh man, I'm not even TOUCHING the sand.

Trick question. I wouldn't leave the house.

Check for Wi-Fi.

Run straight to the beachside! (I don't have any shoes anyway)

I am a Badger.

13. You've been chosen for your school music performance. What's your role in the band?

That's right. You actually play an instrument.

Are turntables an instrument?

You dunno. Music technician?

You really have no idea how to play anything.

I am a Badger.

14. You pick up a pencil (because you have yet to earn your pen licence). What hand is it in?

Your left. Woo, Leftie Patriotism!

Sorry, but I'm actually ambidextrous. Please.

You're a proud rightie. Death to Lefties!

Does it really even matter?

I am a Badger.

15. You find yourself getting into a heated argument with a friend. What do you do to maintain the upper hand?

Stay cool and casual, using this ability to stay on top.

Argue for the sake of it. Fun!

Start quoting as much evidence as you can, getting increasingly smarmy about it.

Get more and more opinionated as your argument begins to slide downhill, quoting unreliable sources left, right and centre.

I am a Badger.

16. For talking loudly during class, you are given a DEMERIT! How do you react to such a crime?

What's a demerit?

Yes! Finally, you've been trying for some time.

Well, you do talk INCREDIBLY loudly....

Try every possible measure to get it out of your record book.

I am a Badger.

17. As part of a school initiative, you are required to take up at least one sport. What do you choose?

How about just a little bit of... EVERYTHING!

Soccer is such a pansy sport. Lawn Bowls is for you.

BASKETBALL FTW!

*cough cough*, sorry, you're sick on that day. Every week.

I am a Badger.

18. You get a Maths test back and, surprise, it's an A+! How do you react?

Oh, absolutely EVERYONE within earshot has to know.

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

...Just as you expected. You didn't study, after all.

Not bad.... Hmm, what's up with Question 6?

I am a Badger.

19. You're walking down a back alley, alone, when you are jumped by a bare-handed criminal. How do you fight him?

Using full body weight and practiced skill, successfully use your strength to bring him down.

Using full body weight and practiced skill, UNsuccessfully use your strength to bring him down.

Use your patented Fight-Or-Flight™ method. Because... pacifism?

Tell them to stop, because you're lazy. Then, if they don't comply, smash the s*** out of them.

I am a Badger.

20. You begin talking with a girl, and she appears to be getting seductive. How do you respond?

Sorry ladies, I'm asexual.

Get really nervous as your VOICE GOES UP AN OCTAVE, making shitty puns.

Walk away. A girlfriend is too much time and effort.

Carefully respond, analyzing answers and girl.

I am a Badger.

21. Movie time! You're sitting down to watch a movie for the night. What genre do you aim for?

Something cool and action-orientated. Awesome!

Something comedic. I like a good laugh.

Something teen-y, dark and gritty.

It doesn't matter anyway, I've already seen it.

I am a Badger.

22. As you're walking down the street with a few friends, you spy a lizard on the pavement, looking aggressive. What do you do?

Kill it. With a stick!

Kill it with a stick, while telling everyone the correct way to hold the stick, to grab the lizard by, and how to cook and eat it.

Just keep walking. It's unimportant anyway.

Scream and run away.

I am a Badger.

23. Boo! Something scary happens! What is it?

Blood. Eugh.

CLOWNS! OH GOD, CLOWNS! Give me an axe.

Doona Covers. Long story.

Lemme see... snakes, the sea, small spaces, spiders, heights, scary movies, menu screens... Yeah, just about everything.

I am a Badger.

24. Your friend is being bullied! How do you react?

Stop them. Your friends are your friends, whatever the cost.

Ha! They totally deserve it.

Meh. It'll all blow over soon.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Or, just join 'em anyway.

I am a Badger.

25. You've organized with a few buddies to get together and play a Tabletop Role-Playing game. What character type do you play?

Charismatic All-Rounder. When the team inevitably gets in trouble, you're there to save the day.

The one causing all the trouble.

Screw it. I'll go DM, even if it kills them.

...Sorry, I have a Careers Meeting on that day.

I am a Badger.