What's Your Perfume Personality?

You’ll travel into the wilderness where you stay in a remote cottage or cabin, explore your surroundings, cook food on an open fire and maybe take photographs of the beautiful scenery

You’ll stay at a luxurious hotel inspired by Belle de Jour’s erotic adventures, where you get to enact all your wildest sexual fantasies (with highly attractive people of course!)

You’ll book yourself onto a gourmand food appreciation and wine tasting course in Provence, where you meet lots of like-minded people and generally get quite tipsy every evening after a glorious 5 course meal

You’ll stay in a crumbling medieval castle on a mountain-side to attend a performance of renaissance poetry and music

Your weekend will include visits to some of Europe’s finest art museums and galleries, and you’ve made sure to book a table at several five star restaurants for each evening.

You’ll book up a creative residency in a country you’ve never visited before, you don’t know what to expect, but you feel excited by the chance to explore new places and ideas

Smoking and playing ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’ in a dark corner of the playground

Spending most of my time making daisy chains in the local park, only turning up as required for exams

Buying sweets at the local sweetshop, selling them to kids in the playground

Revising renaissance studies in the library at 5pm, or monitoring pupils (I was a prefect)

Gazing out of the window imagining what it might be like to time travel, while teachers droned on about economics

Customising my school uniform with feathers, or organising a petition demanding flexi-time of school hours

Your lover has planned a surprise trip to Morocco. You travel out into the desert to a tent, where local tribespeople cook up a tagine followed by fresh dates. After this you watch the sun setting over the dunes

You arrive by helicopter flown by your lover. Dinner is fresh oysters, followed by steak tartare then a chocolate tower formed from wafers of swiss chocolate and filled with dark cherries marinated in brandy. You’re in a chalet overlooking the alps

Your lover sails you out to a beautiful Mediterranean bay in an old wooden boat then catches and charcoal grills sea trout and lobster, accompanied by locally produced white wine.

Your lover has booked a weekend stay at the former house of your favourite author. Dinner is just as described in your favourite novel; Elizabethan cuisine by candlelight in the green room overlooking a rose garden through the French windows

You’ve been invited to Nigela Lawson’s divorce celebration dinner party. Dinner is pan fried sea trout, followed by beef fillets with salsa verde accompanied by pig’s ears in aspic, for desert a giant profiterole tower drenched in dark chocolate.

Our lover has booked a table for two at Michelin star-winning restaurant Le Stella in Rue Saint Dominique, Paris

Hand in your notice, even though you’ve no job to go to, you know and have faith that your talents will be better appreciated elsewhere. Anyway, you’re bored to the point of depression with the place

Seduce or charm the person higher up the food chain who can influence matters. You know they love theatre/sport/wine or whatever so you offer them the ultimate gift, then talk them round. You know that they make the ultimate decision.

File away and archive all the relevant information, show acceptance and understanding – you don’t want to interrupt the status quo, and anyway, you feel strong faith that your chance will come round again.

Phone the person who you know your line manager bullied and illegally conned out of money a year back. Seduce them, then convince them to help you build a case against your Line Manager. No-one stands in your way

Go home and feel miserable. Then book yourself onto a creative course where your talents can flourish. This cheers you up enough so you can happily go back to work

Line Manager? What's that? I've been freelance most of my life and could never work full time in an office

Figure-hugging black couture dress in leather, Japanese patent leather Geisha style shoes. Transparent plastic coat. One large, black polished obsidian ring

Pale silver silk empire-line dress. Grey velvet slippers embroidered with seed pearls. Strings of tiny seed pearls woven into your flowing hair

Bias cut couture ivory/cream dress in raw silk with shoes and bag in matching fabric. Platinum jewellery

Floor-length backless halter-neck dress made from pale green chinoiserie fabric decorated with small lemon yellow birds of paradise, lime-green skull ring. Pale green 5 inch heeled boots

Deep red velvet off-the-shoulders opera dress which shows off your impressive décolletage. Red velvet high heels and ruby drop earrings

Strapless floor-length fitted dress in dark green suede. Hair in simple chignon decorated with jasmine flowers and green leaves. Leather flip flops

Cobra

A wolf I've had since I found it as a puppy

Siamese Cat

Racehorse

Tropical Fish

A stray cat you found outside

A tall glass vase of white roses

A single deep red dahlia in a slim black vase

An enormous bunch of stargazer lilies in a red ceramic vase

A window box overflowing with wild jasmine

Water lilies floating in a large glass bowl

An indoor wall garden made of moss and daisies

Grace Kelly

Mae West

Katherine Hepburn

Ingrid Bergman

Greta Garbo

Bette Davis

Matt Damon

George Clooney

Christian Bale

Tom Hanks

Michael Fassbender

Johnny Depp

You look out your collection of family photos across the generations, you know they'll enjoy the memories

You prepare a three course dinner featuring all their favourite food

You search out your maps and work out a nice and easy country walk to take them on

You spend most of your time hiding the incriminating evidence of your lifestyle, which you know they would disapprove of

You bring out all your latest creations, they love to know what projects you've been up to lately

You clean the house thoroughly from top to bottom and air out your best linen in case they stay over