The Costco Personality Test

Circle the parking lot a few times to find the closest spot.

See a parking spot with a cart in it and worry that it’s going to hit that brand new BMW parked next to it. So you get out and move it.

End up parking furthest away because it’s easier than driving around and finding a closer parking spot.

Find the first parking spot you see and think nothing of the distance.

Fumble around in your purse/wallet looking for your Costco card, joking to the greeter about how you do this EVERY TIME.

Already have your Costco card out and wave it like you’re an FBI agent

Make eye contact and ask how their day is going.

Respectfully show your card but you don't make eye contact because it's awkward

Think, "If we had a bigger TV we could host more parties!"

See the words ‘LCD’’ and ‘Plasma’ and are immediately confused. Isn't a TV a TV?!

The 32” TV that you have is perfectly fine. We don’t need to spend the money.

Bigger the screen = more happiness

Wonder if they have that long sleeve shirt you need but you don’t want to take the time to look. You’re on a mission remember?

Think about those birthdays that are coming up that you need a gift for.

Glance at the new seasonal items & get excited about the future holidays/events.

Try to look through the jeans without messing up how perfectly they’ve been stacked by an employee.

Crap! He asked you a question. Now you have to stop and listen/watch his demonstration. You don’t want to be rude.

You are genuinely interested even if you aren’t going to buy it.

You’ve done your research on the Vitamix vs. Blendtec argument and he’s not going to change your mind.

You think how much you NEED this and how it will change your life.

Implement the 5 second rule and start 'helping' by eating the blueberries while enjoying the free AC

Move onto another item on your list and come back later when it’s cleaned up.

Wait patiently outside for the employees to finish cleaning it up.

Immediately start picking up the blueberries to help.

The bulk necessities: toilet paper, paper towels, laundry detergent, etc.

Food for the family: milk, meat, snacks, cereal, etc.

Alcohol and snacks for the holiday party.

Whatever we needed. I went mostly because I needed alone time and Costco is awesome.

Allow the mother of screaming children to go ahead of you because you realize that it’s probably their nap time.

Feel super uncomfortable because the customer ahead of you is upset about his membership being expired and is yelling at the cashier.

Think to yourself, “these lines are way too long. I should just leave and eat out this week."

Comment on something funny in someone else’s cart.

Are silently super excited for the churro that you don’t have to share with anyone.

Ask the guy if wearing a beard net is comfortable.

Get stressed out because you don’t know what you want, the guy is staring at you intensely and there’s a long line behind you.

Quickly recite your order and pay with the exact change.