Show up to Church? You're there to help set up.
You show up during the last song of worship, but make those two minutes of worship count.
About five minutes before it starts, just to get your normal seat.
About fifteen minutes early, just to socialize.
No real standard for showing up, you get there when you get there.
Wherever all of your friends are sitting.
Aisle seat close to the front.
Around the middle section.
The "Screwing in light bulbs."
The "My fish was this big."
The "Holding a big screen TV."
The "Give the Lord a high-five."
You are always willing to give, and hope that others give too.
"Dang it, forgot my wallet in the car. Guess I'll have to buy something from the coffee shop to make up for it."
You wonder where the money goes to.
You have money set aside in your budget for tithes and offerings.
You give whatever you have in your pockets at the time.
The Feeler: You deeply resonate with most sermons, and make subtle head nods.
The Holla Back: You verbally affirm the pastor (usually with an "Amen," a "Come on," or a "That's good").
The Scribe: You take thorough notes, highlighting in your bible the verses used in the sermon.
The Jester: It is your personal business to provide funny commentary for the people sitting next to you.
The Wrestler: You wrestle to find practical ways to apply the sermon in your life.
Look to mingle with friends.
Hit up the coffee/snack station.
Chat with the pastor, often about the sermon.
Pray for people at the altars.
You're ready to head to lunch.
Wherever you're asked to serve: You're kind of busy, but never too busy for Jesus.
Hospitality: If they don't feel welcomed, they won't feel Jesus.
Children's ministry: There's a 50% chance you're a single girl in her twenties.
Media productions: One day they'll notice your contributions. Church can't run without PowerPoint.
Youth ministry: Your humble investment in the future of the church.
Food: Gotta have something to keep me occupied during announcements.
Journal: For my theological doodles that are certainly divine communication.
Bible: Because I refuse to read from the projector.
Myself: Jesus and me, that's all I need.
Tithe: Building the kingdom, one crumpled bill at a time.
NLT: It's personable, and you like that.
ESV: You like the way it sounds, and you've heard it's really similar to the Greek.
NIV: Easy to read, dynamically communicates the gospel.
KJV: It's a family heirloom, and you love that.
The Message: It started out as a joke, but now you kind of like it.
The summer missions trip: You wait all year for your church to carry out the great commission.
Lent: What will you give up this year? Social media, secular music, soda, meat, chocolate, rated R movies...
Easter Sunday: The one Sunday your secular friends meet your church friends.
Super Bowl Sunday: Jesus had to rise from the dead on a Sunday so that he wouldn't miss the game.
Children's Christmas musical: You can't wait to watch the little ones perform the choreography that you taught them.