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Transfer digital information into a physical format appropriate for touching.
Kill burglers by clipping their windpipes with razor sharp bits of paper!
Rear of a PC Tower
Birds Eye view of a network topology
Jesus! That's one big stick of RAM!
Proceed to eat your own face
Politely interrupt and ask them to clarify their problem
Talk over customer, asking them to get back to the point.
Politely ask them to eat their own face
Wait till customer has finished talking and then ask politely to get back to the problem
Your USB interface
You FireWire interface
Your 20-24 PIN motherboard power connector
One of your VGA ports
As much as you could ever hope for
As much as you stuff into your average meat pie
Anti-static Wrist Strap
Kevlar Vest and Helmet
Anti-static Fap Strap
Durex Ribbed Condom
Harry Potter is near
Danger of your arrows becoming bent
Danger Danger High Voltage (When We Touch)
Risk of electric shock
God is in the process of smiting people
On a train
On the passenger seat of my car, in full view from the window
In a specialst security cage designed to house my laptop
In a lead-lined safe 50 feet under my place of work
Wear it like a hat
Be rude to the customer, as well, so they believe this is normal policy for the company
Eat your own face
Listen carefully to what the customer has to say, apologize on the other technician's behalf and attempt to help the customer eat their own face.
Put the phone down, run away, pretend it never happened.
Listen carefully to what the customer has to say, apologize on the other technician's behalf and attempt to help the customer with their problem.
A type of program that self-replicates and wriggles its way into your CPU.
A small pink creature that borrows under the earth.
A self-replicating program - sometimes intended for good - that does not attach itself to any existing programs.
A malicious piece of program code that hides under the name of a trusted file and spreads to other computers. Often reffered, alternativly, as "greyware".
A euphemism for your colleague's anatomy
Serial Accelerated Technical Alternator
Serial Advanced Technology Attachment
Simons Arms Taste Awesome
Suction Anatomical Tentacle Attachment
He does not have a chair
A complicated pattern seen on hoodies in Top-Man
A type parity checking
Its the virtual reality we are all trapped in, intill freed by keanu reeves.
A type of impact printer
A method of formatting data
Microsoft's series of graphical internet browsers.
A plague to all humanity, a program that Todd battles bravely day after day.... struggling awesomly against Microsoft's closed-source monopoly.
A rare species of Elephant
An open-source internet browser
A global Wide-Area-network
A website inside your NIC
An escaped felon who's out to get you
A government conspiracy
An awesome program where you can find nudity in 4 clicks.
Veasey is Awesome
The guy who invented coca-cola