How Russian Are You?

8 Questions

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How Russian Are You?

This quiz won't answer any of those eternal questions, but it will tell you how you rank on a scale of Russianness. Do you possess a Russian soul, no matter where you live?


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Questions and Answers
  • 1. 
    How do you feel about vodka?
    • A. 

      Never tried it - I'm not into the hard stuff.

    • B. 

      I've had it once or twice in mixed drinks.

    • C. 

      Tried it, didn't like it.

    • D. 

      I like a cold shot, with a chaser

  • 2. 
    What do you do when you pass a stranger on the street?
    • A. 

      Smile, and say hello.

    • B. 

      Nod pleasantly but indifferently.

    • C. 

      Look the other way so you don't have to interact.

    • D. 

      Glare menacingly. You can never be too careful with strangers

  • 3. 
    Gorbachev?
    • A. 

      The greatest man of the 20th century, who single-handedly ended the Cold War.

    • B. 

      The guy with the spot on his head. Did he come do a talk in my town last year?

    • C. 

      He made some mistakes, but the Soviet Collapse was inevitable, and at least he avoided World War III.

    • D. 

      There had to have been a better way - he was a mealy-mouthed nonentity, and made things worse.

  • 4. 
    What was World War II all about?
    • A. 

      Ridding the world of pinko scum.

    • B. 

      The fight against Naziism. Or was it Communism? Both?

    • C. 

      Putting an end to the Holocaust. The Western world had to compromise by working with Stalin, but the ends justified the means.

    • D. 

      An complex international cataclysm with its origins all the way back in World War I.

  • 5. 
    When you see an old lady on the subway platform, what goes through your head?
    • A. 

      What is an old lady doing taking public transportation?

    • B. 

      Maybe I should help her get onto the train - it's crowded here.

    • C. 

      I'll stand behind her, because I know she'll clear a path into the train, and I can slip in on her slipstream.

    • D. 

      Back off. Her purse is a weapon and she's just waiting to use it.

  • 6. 
    How do you feel about gelatin?
    • A. 

      Oh! I haven't thought about jello since I was a kid.

    • B. 

      I prefer it green, with suspended fruit and marshmallows.

    • C. 

      Do you know what that stuff is really made out of???

    • D. 

      It's the essential ingredient in kholodets.

  • 7. 
    What do you do when you get stopped by the traffic police?
    • A. 

      Argue about whether you did anything wrong.

    • B. 

      Get out your license and registration.

    • C. 

      Do nothing

    • D. 

      Option Fold a 50 ruble note and hold it out the window while you slow down (but don't stop)5

  • 8. 
    What's the Black Sea Fleet?
    • A. 

      It's ours, give it back.

    • B. 

      It's part of the Ukrainian navy.

    • C. 

      It's part of the Russian navy.

    • D. 

      Is there still such a thing?