Which Beatallica Member Are You?

1. The band has to drive in a rickety old van for 10 hours. Will you help?

You love to drive, I am going all the way.

You drive when you have to, are you tired?

I am busy on the phone with the record company, and color blind.

ZZZZZZ

2. The bus has arived in an exotic port of call early, and you have several hours to yourself. What do you do?

I am going to see the sights, preferably 1000 year old churches, or whatever attractions are listed in the front of the hotel's phone book.

Yeah sure, I'll come along.

I am busy on the phone with the record company, sleeping, or watching a sporting event.

ZZZZZZZZZ. Oh are you guys going to a bar? No? ZZZZZZZZ

3. Before the gig, you...

Put in contacts, and sanitize your microphone.

Check the contract for errata, and get some bottled water.

Check the clock, you may have enough time to step outside.

Send a text or ten

Have a beer or ten

4. The gear has to be loaded out of the club, you...

Are nowhere to be seen because you are trying to finalize the contract with the club owner.

Packing up your gear efficiently so you can resume drinking

Pack up and load up the van as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Talk to drunk fans, have a drink with them, realize that your stuff is still not put away.

5. Your prefered drink on any given evening is?

Beer

Mead

Mixed drink

Water

Whiskey

6. After the gig, at the hotel you enjoy...?

Drinking and talking shit all night with other drunks

Drinking and talking shit for a while, but settling down with some Adult Swim on TV

ZZZZZZZZZ.

Catching up on the latest sports scores

7. The morning after the gig, you...

ZZZZZZZZZZ (what time are we leaving?)ZZZZZZZZ.

Bright eyed and bushy tailed, lets go get some breakfast.

Check the GPS for the day's routing to the next venue.

Call your Dad

8. On a night off at a hotel you enjoy...

Going to a sauna

Partying with your tour mates

Getting your freak on

Going out drinking

Writing a psycho-sexual horror novella

9. You are done with the tour and going to fly home. What do you do?

Get piss drunk on cheap wine so that you are passed out for most of the flight, albeit a bit smelly.

Check the itinerary multiple times and make sure all is in order.

Read a good book.

Text your loved ones back home.

Writing a psycho-sexual horror novella

10. During your band down time, what do you plan to do?

Stay busy with the other four bands I am in.

Tour the world with other organizations.

Raise a family

Get a secure job, with regular hours and good benefits

Write a psycho-sexual horror novella

11. On an off night in NYC the band goes to a bar together, what do you do?

Exchange stories with the sound guy at the club

Have a drink and relax.

Eat some pub grub

Enter and drunkenly win a karaoke contest

Get chased by an over eager cross dresser

12. On the ride home the band stops at a freeway Oasis, what do you order?

Panda Express

ZZZZZZZ. (still asleep in van)

2 tacos, a 3 burritos from Taco Bell

An order of Cinnamon Crisps

Some gum

13. Where do you sit in the van?

Driver's seat

Co-Pirate's seat

Second row, with the cooler

Claim the third row all to yourself

14. Which of these is in your sphere of knowledge?

Cleveland Browns' Win/Loss record for the last decade

How to tune a Bouzouki

Name the Hellacopters Japanese releases

How to use a jackhammer

All the frequencies on a parametric EQ

What a backward roll entry is

The Specific Gravities of various liquids

The THACO of an owlbear

15. Which do you prefer?

Blondes

Redheads

Brunettes

Any port in the storm

All of the above