Beware: Here be prophecies.
More than several
This book has been certified as Prophecy Free by FDOSCOM (Federal Department of Oracles, Seers, and Cryptic Old Men).
They are all over eachother ALL. THE. TIME.
Several. And s/he only likes the one that doesn't like her/him back.
None OR one, but they have a healthy, happy and (most importantly) MONOGAMOUS relationship all throughout the book (or, at least, for most of it).
Swords (yes, plasma swords and lightsabers DO count). Hey, it may be a completely futuristic world, but you can't beat the good old slash and stab fight scene!
Guns (ray guns, magic cannons, light blasters, AK47's, etc.). Because why the heck not?
Guns, swords, knives- we got it all, regardless of the anochronism.
His/her eyes darken and lighten according to his/her mood and are constantly dwelt upon. Like, every other sentence. His/her hair shines in the sunlight. Whenever perspective is switched, we get a refreshed description of his or her untouched appearance. His/her armpits do not sweat, dirt falls off his/her clothes like, well, dirt, blood stains and rips reveal just enough- but not too much- and never EVER detract from his/her beauty. He/she can eat anything s/he wants and yet never gains a pound. It's painfully clear that his/her natural ability to get girls/guys to fall head over heels in love with him/her is clearly a reflection of the author's own less than extensive dating experiences. The author obviously wishes they were their character, and sincerely hopes that you wish you were their character too.
S/He doesn't look half-bad- in fact, s/he's quite attractive. Unfortunately, s/he believes that s/he's ugly and agnsts about his/her appearance for almost half the book until s/he finds a supportive boy/girlfriend to make her/him feel better. In reality this path can only lead to destruction, and most probably the character would end up marrying an abusive spouse and then sticking with him/her because s/he doesn't feel confident enough in her/hisself to leave him/her. But as this is a story, his/her self-esteem issues can only lead to eternal happiness, right?
Average. S/He gains weight when s/he eats unhealthily and looses it through excerise. S/He is not particularly pleased with or depressed about his/her appearence. Maybe deep down sometimes s/he wishes she was different- but don't we all?
They eat kittens for desert after dining on baby heads, puppie feet, and seal pup skins.
I just want to rule the world in peace, is that too much to ask?!
Delusional? I'm not delusional. You're all just blind.
They don't even deserve to be called villans. They're really just glorified bullies in disguise. And even their bullying can be attributed to their a.) troubled past b.) troubled household or c.) secret love for the hero.
I just need a hug :(
The hero vanquishes the villan, is revealed to be the long lost (and much missed) price/ss, and goes on to rule his/her kingdom in peace (until the sequel).
The hero dies and comes back to life (at least once) after the last battle scene. The last battle is epic, and just that: the LAST battle. Everything is neatly resolved and all loose ends are tied (hopefully).
Everything is resolved, but not in the obvious fashion. Maybe some characters died and actually stayed dead, maybe the villans won. Maybe they got a happy ending, maybe they didn't- but whatever it was, it was twisted.
Invincibility is among the least of my many magical attributes. Really, I shouldn't brag, but I truly AM, just that awesome.
I can has magicalness.
I have about one cool magical powers, but it does have some drawbacks, which aren't just occasional inconviences, but a consistant problem that appears throughout the story.
My powers have a light side and a dark side, and the demonic powers try to talk me into doing evil things. EVIL THINGS. No, I didn't forget to take my medication today! God, so untrusting.
OM NOM NOM NOM. :}
Peples are yum. :)
What?! What is this?! Is this a joke?! What does this have to do with cliched books?!
I like teh kitties morer. ^__^
No! teh peples are bestest! >=^(
No! kitties! >__
U r stupid! i eat yur head! OM NOM NOM NOM! yur head is yum cuz it is teh peples! :)
Earth, but in the future, so that none of the natural laws apply.
A completely fabricated world with a fleshed out political, social, technological, and medical systems.
SPACE!!! (It's magical!)
Earth now, but with complete disregard for the natural laws (because the author didn't even want to bother to create highly implausible reasons for the natural laws to be missing in the future, or the future technology and politics, for that matter).
The future, but with new, plausible socio-political standards and systems.
Alternative dimensions! Gotta love 'em.
A completely fabricated world that's basically just Earth in 15th century, but with unicorns.
Yes, especially anything to do with weapons and fighting.
Yes, especially anything to do with weapons and fighting and magic.
Yes, especially anything to do with weapons and fighting and magic and scholarly things.
No, time lapse is my friend.
Yes, even if it was something that the main character him/herself broke off a relationship because of.
Yes, even the villans forgive him/her.
Why should they forgive me? I never do anything wrong.
They all come back eventually- they just can't resist my charms.
Ummm... No. My former best friend Todd still won't talk to me because of that Incident last year.