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Smartalecksguide
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Quizzes Created: 1 | Total Attempts: 109
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  • 1/8 Questions

    What was "54-40 or Fight"

    • A slogan popular with people who wanted to absorb Oregon into the U.S.
    • A football play developed by Knute Rockne
    • A popular tavern song about whoring and fighting
    • Plan B for getting that stupid locker open.
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About This Quiz


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  • 2. 

    What did Washington say to his men on the boat as they crossed the Delaware on Christmas Day, 1776, to attack the British at Trenton?

    • Look, ma, no hands!

    • If we win this, we'll be independent by New Year's!

    • Shift your fat #$%^, Henry, or you'll swamp the %^&*ed boat!

    • We got spirit, yes we do. We got spirit, how bout YOU?

    Correct Answer
    A. Shift your fat #$%^, Henry, or you'll swamp the %^&*ed boat!
    Explanation
    A lot of famous quotes from those days were invented years later, but several contemporary accounts state that Washington said this to Henry Knox, who would later be his Secretary of War. It was a cold morning, the soldiers were barely dressed, and their muskets would be useless (even moreso than usual) in the damp weather. They must have been scared out of their minds. When Washington said this, they all had a hearty laugh, and their spirits were lifted enough that they were able to win the battle. And so, swearing changed the course of world history....but don't come crying to us if you get in trouble for quoting Washington in front of your teacher.

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  • 3. 

    Which of the following statements about George Washington is true?

    • Washington once cut down his dad's cherry tree for some reason.

    • Washington could breathe fire, which scared the bejeezus out of the British soldiers, many of whom had relatives who had been eaten by dragons.

    • Washington could throw a coin across the Potomac River.

    • Washington was known as a heckuva dancer.

    • Washington had wooden teeth.

    Correct Answer
    A. Washington was known as a heckuva dancer.
    Explanation
    The whole thing about the coin and the cherry tree were invented by biographers who were not concerned with accuracy, and his teeth were made of bone and "donated" teeth. Wooden ones would have been pretty unsanitary.

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  • 4. 

    What does your history teacher do in the summer?

    • Tour obscure battlefields along the eastern seabord

    • Square dance competitively under the name Dixie Calhoun

    • Chain smoke while playing bingo with the other teachers

    • Sit around eating firecake.

    • Be like Grandpa in "The Grapes of Wrath:" sit down in a washtub full of grapes and scroooooge around.

    Correct Answer
    A. Square dance competitively under the name Dixie Calhoun
    Explanation
    It's B. We have proof.

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  • 5. 

    Are you going to eat that pickle?

    • Yes

    • No

    • I just licked it, still want it?

    • That's no pickle, that's my wife!

    Correct Answer
    A. Yes
    Explanation
    A. Eat your pickles. And drink your juice, or you'll get scruvy.

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  • 6. 

    Why did the Allies cross the English Channel at Normandy on D-Day?

    • Everyone prefers a lesser-known beach to the more crowded ones.

    • Because just walking up to Hitler's bunker, leaving a bag of flaming poo on the ground, ringing the bell and running, wouldn't have solved much.

    • Don't ask me. Bob Hope might know. Write to his estate.

    • To get to the other side!

    Correct Answer
    A. Everyone prefers a lesser-known beach to the more crowded ones.
    Explanation
    the beach at Normandy was lesser known and less guarded than the better-known beaches.

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  • 7. 

    How do you pronounce the last name of Leon Czolgosh, the anarchist who assassinated WIlliam McKinley?

    • Coal-gash

    • Cuz-zuhl-gosh

    • Cuz-ole-ghosh

    • Coal-gosh

    Correct Answer
    A. Coal-gash
    Explanation
    it's A, for the record, though we've also heard people use D, and aren't sure who to believe. Then again, some people also say that John Wilkes Booth pronounced his name "Bowth" (rhymes with "mouth"), which makes you wonder how much it really matters how it was pronounced back then. Heck, Christopher Columbus never called himself Christopher Columbus; he called himself Cristobal don Colon

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  • 8. 

    Why did so many 16th century colonists die?

    • They were quitters who did not give 110%

    • A meteor struck the area

    • They couldn't get enough of the sweet crunchity taste of their shipmates

    • Ben Franklin had not invented the Franklin stove

    • Most of the above

    Correct Answer
    A. Ben Franklin had not invented the Franklin stove
    Explanation
    We're going to go with D. In reality, most of the colonists just didn't know thing 1 about how to set up a colony. It's not like they taught courses on it in school. Heck, these guys had no IDEA what the "new world' was like - many expected to find cities made of gold, elephants, and all kinds of crazy stuff. There was no way they could really be prepared.

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  • Mar 07, 2024
    Quiz Edited by
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  • Jun 10, 2009
    Quiz Created by
    Smartalecksguide

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