End Of Website Quiz
Under the No Website Reader left behind act, we have to have at least one standardized test on here. Answer the questions, then see the CORRECT answers (with explanations, so you'll LEARN) at the end. But we're not WILD about standardized testing, so we're not going to be too picky about test protocol. We can't be THAT picky - we're already asking you to take a test about a book you may not have even read yet. So if you don't have a #2 pencil, we don't care. Heck, use a crayon if you feel like it. Just don't come crying to us if it doesn't wash off of your monitor. We're also fine with letting you use all of your notes, or, better yet, using the book, to get your answers. And chew yourself some gum.
- 1.Why did so many 16th century colonists die?
- A.
They were quitters who did not give 110%
- B.
A meteor struck the area
- C.
They couldn't get enough of the sweet crunchity taste of their shipmates
- D.
Ben Franklin had not invented the Franklin stove
- E.
Most of the above
- 2.Which of the following statements about George Washington is true?
- A.
Washington once cut down his dad's cherry tree for some reason.
- B.
Washington could breathe fire, which scared the bejeezus out of the British soldiers, many of whom had relatives who had been eaten by dragons.
- C.
Washington could throw a coin across the Potomac River.
- D.
Washington was known as a heckuva dancer.
- E.
Washington had wooden teeth.
- 3.What was "54-40 or Fight"
- A.
A slogan popular with people who wanted to absorb Oregon into the U.S.
- B.
A football play developed by Knute Rockne
- C.
A popular tavern song about whoring and fighting
- D.
Plan B for getting that stupid locker open.
- 4.How do you pronounce the last name of Leon Czolgosh, the anarchist who assassinated WIlliam McKinley?
- A.
Coal-gash
- B.
Cuz-zuhl-gosh
- C.
Cuz-ole-ghosh
- D.
Coal-gosh
- 5.Are you going to eat that pickle?
- A.
Yes
- B.
No
- C.
I just licked it, still want it?
- D.
That's no pickle, that's my wife!
- 6.What does your history teacher do in the summer?
- A.
Tour obscure battlefields along the eastern seabord
- B.
Square dance competitively under the name Dixie Calhoun
- C.
Chain smoke while playing bingo with the other teachers
- D.
Sit around eating firecake.
- E.
Be like Grandpa in "The Grapes of Wrath:" sit down in a washtub full of grapes and scroooooge around.
- 7.Why did the Allies cross the English Channel at Normandy on D-Day?
- A.
Everyone prefers a lesser-known beach to the more crowded ones.
- B.
Because just walking up to Hitler's bunker, leaving a bag of flaming poo on the ground, ringing the bell and running, wouldn't have solved much.
- C.
Don't ask me. Bob Hope might know. Write to his estate.
- D.
To get to the other side!
- 8.What did Washington say to his men on the boat as they crossed the Delaware on Christmas Day, 1776, to attack the British at Trenton?
- A.
Look, ma, no hands!
- B.
If we win this, we'll be independent by New Year's!
- C.
Shift your fat #$%^, Henry, or you'll swamp the %^&*ed boat!
- D.
We got spirit, yes we do. We got spirit, how bout YOU?
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