I make a list and check it twice
I look for anything that is on sale, even if no one wants another fruit cake.
I start shopping the day after Christmas, that is when you can find great deals.
At the gas station on the way to the gift exchange.
I am a pro, I love ribbons and bows!
I could not wrap a present to save my life.
I do ok, at least all of the sides are covered.
Why wrap when a professional can do it for you?
Sugar cookie cutouts, each lovingly hand-decorated.
Ginger bread boys and girls.
An assortment of family favorites.
Who has time to bake, I buy cookies at Wal-Mart.
Am the life of the party, singing songs and telling the boss off-color jokes.
Show up long enough to show company spirit.
Hang out with a couple of friends until the end of the party.
Make up any excuse that will keep me from that nightmare!
Tiny Tim, the world is full of hope.
Bob Cratchit, worried about making ends meet while buying gifts.
Fred, Scrooge’s nephew, loves Christmas and is full of holiday cheer.
Ebenezer Scrooge, Christmas? Bah Humbug!!!
A Christmas ham, with baked potatoes and candied carrots and red velvet cake for dessert.
Eating out at a nice restaurant.
Calling the pizza delivery guy.
Cute cards with Santa or snowmen.
Cards that have a picture of the family.
Who has time to send Christmas cards?
As soon as the last trick or treater leaves your home.
Right after the Thanksgiving meal.
Sometime in December.
Decorate? I’m lucky if the gifts are wrapped!
I assemble them as soon as I buy them.
I have a professional put them together.
I spend Christmas Eve putting them together.
I spend Christmas morning cursing with the kids hanging on my back trying to figure out how to put the darn thing together.
A week before Christmas, after the kids have begged and pleaded with you.
Christmas Eve, you drive your kids by the drunk Santa at the Salvation Army stand.
As soon as Santa arrives at the mall, you are first in line with your well-groomed kids in their Christmas finery.
During the first couple of weeks of December, while Christmas shopping at the mall.
I cut down my neighbors tree.
I have an artificial tree I put up each year.
I cut my own tree down with the family at the tree farm.
The local tree lot a couple of days before Christmas.
Go shopping, then wrap the gifts.
Decorate the house and put up the tree.
Play Christmas songs while drinking egg nog.
Make fun of the mall Santa.
Eating all of the cookies and candy.
Spending time with family and friends.
Getting all of the gifts on your list.
Throwing out the Christmas tree.