Who Is Your Downton Dreamboy?

10 Questions | Total Attempts: 1094

Who Is Your Downton Dreamboy? - Quiz

Did you passionately tear down your Mr. Darcy posters and replace them with a centerfold of Mr. Bates? Were you a C student in high school Economics, but can explain the ramifications of an entail with ease? Have you ever absentmindedly signed a check "Mrs. Crawley"? You are not alone. The biggest challenge for Downton Abbey fans, besides anxiously waiting for the British to let us colonists get our delayed fix on PBS, is deciding which male character is worthy of our love. Fret no more, my friends, this quiz will guide your tortured hearts. Technical note: This seems to work the best in Google Chrome and the worst in Firefox. By: Jill M. Wagner


Questions and Answers
  • 1. 
    My high school boyfriend...
    • A. 

      Competed on the rowing team.I eventually had to dump him because his mother would not stop launching one-ling zingers at me and I never had any comebacks.

    • B. 

      All-American athlete with a heart of gold

    • C. 

      Worked as the editor of the school newspaper. He was ignominiously relieved of his position after publishing an expose about the Vice-Principal’s torrid affair with Rusty, the school janitor.

    • D. 

      Was unpopular at first when he moved in from Ohio, but quickly won everyone over when he started dating a blonde cheerleader.

    • E. 

      President of the debate team. Whenever he raised his hand, everyone sighed and settled in for the duration

    • F. 

      Got expelled for leaving Ex-Lax brownies in the teacher’s lounge after he was denied the role of Captain Von Trapp. That was a turning point…

    • G. 

      Mysterious Anatolian exchange student

  • 2. 
    My lover's theme song is...
    • A. 

      Gold Digger by Kanye West

    • B. 

      Hot N Cold by Katy Perry

    • C. 

      Sabotage by the Beastie Boys

    • D. 

      Jailhouse Rock by Elvis Presley

    • E. 

      Bloody Sunday by U2

    • F. 

      Be Prepared as performed by the malevolent lion, Scar, in The Lion King

    • G. 

      Dead! by My Chemical Romance

  • 3. 
    I have an instant physical reaction to...
    • A. 

      A luscious crop of dignified silver hair and an overall aura of gentility

    • B. 

      Icy blue stare, Clairol towhead

    • C. 

      Sinister grin

    • D. 

      Unique gait and jowls

    • E. 

      Bulging biceps, because I know that he can rescue me when political chaos breaks out

    • F. 

      Glistening hair reminiscent of the British Petroleum spill of ‘10

    • G. 

      It is hard to pick just one when your lover looks like Narcissus

  • 4. 
    The bumper sticker on my man's car/carriage/bicycle says...
    • A. 

      Dads Against Daughters Dating Democrats: Lifetime Member

    • B. 

      Legal Aid: Justice for All

    • C. 

      Newt Gingrich 2012

    • D. 

      I Brake For Cripples

    • E. 

      Belfast Rifle Team

    • F. 

      Honk If You’re Feeling Devilish

    • G. 

      Kiss Me, I’m Turkish

  • 5. 
    I am especially vulnerable to this seduction style:
    • A. 

      Beguiling and marrying a pretty foreign heiress, hoping one day to love her as much as her inheritance

    • B. 

      Getting engaged to the only fictional character as annoying as Beth from Little Women, hoping to make his true crush jealous. Secretly wishes that said fiancée would have the common decency to die.

    • C. 

      Using his money to attract a much younger woman and then blackmail to keep her interested.

    • D. 

      Endearing millions of viewers with his integrity and loyalty, while blinding them to the fact that he has the agility of Stephen Hawking.

    • E. 

      Antagonistically telling women that they are in love with him until they are cowed into agreeing.

    • F. 

      Volunteering to help the object of his affection dress and then assaulting him with a sensual kiss.

    • G. 

      Attracting her by looking like a Ralph Lauren advertisement on a horse and then randomly showing up in her bedroom in the middle of the night

  • 6. 
    My friends are always all up in my grill for being hopelessly drawn in by...
    • A. 

      Men in the grip of a midlife crisis

    • B. 

      Dimwitted do-gooders who care more about helping people than earning money

    • C. 

      Guys that every single person I know hates passionately, especially Grandma

    • D. 

      Men with more baggage than LAX

    • E. 

      Overbearing control freaks

    • F. 

      Black market con artists

    • G. 

      Green Card aspirants

  • 7. 
    My perfect weekend date...
    • A. 

      Tranquil stroll through the estate with trusty canine friend

    • B. 

      Architectural tour of local sights

    • C. 

      Checking out cheap foreclosed houses while gossiping about the neighbors

    • D. 

      Night of passion planned and hosted by our boss. It would have been perfect if I didn’t keep getting scraped by his metal brace of death-felt like a night with Jolie.

    • E. 

      Occupy Wall Street

    • F. 

      Dine and dash. Once he tried to impress me with a bottle of wine; I would almost swear that it was really diluted vinegar, because he looked really upset as soon as he tried it.

    • G. 

      Fox hunt and subsequent booty call

  • 8. 
    If my man found himself embroiled in a political scandal, it would most likely be due to:
    • A. 

      Kissing a widowed intern

    • B. 

      Incest

    • C. 

      Receiving bribes for the return of compromising photographs

    • D. 

      Snuffing out all of the inconvenient people in his path with poison that he bought at Walgreens (forgot to throw out receipt)

    • E. 

      Throwing a Molotov cocktail filled with curdled milk at a member of the opposition party

    • F. 

      Larry Craig style men’s restroom debacle

    • G. 

      Seducing a wealthy virgin while on a diplomatic mission

  • 9. 
    I believe in love enough to overlook this weakness in my lover…
    • A. 

      Sentimentality

    • B. 

      Viagra resistant impotence

    • C. 

      His last work project was an expose naming Obama as the father of Snooki’s lovechild

    • D. 

      Criminal record and an ex who makes the Kardashians look low-maintenance

    • E. 

      Misplaced pride in low earning potential

    • F. 

      The Gaga costume that I found hidden in his closet

    • G. 

      Poor stamina, if you know what I mean

  • 10. 
    I feel an immediate, mysterious connection to...
    • A. 

      My father’s friends from the country club

    • B. 

      This is kind of embarrassing, but I have this cousin on my dad’s side of the family…

    • C. 

      Rupert Murdoch

    • D. 

      That portly middle-aged man who carves the ham at Golden Corral

    • E. 

      The Lucky Charms Leprechaun

    • F. 

      Ryan Seacrest

    • G. 

      Whirling dervishes

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