Who Is Your Despot Dream Boat?
Are you the kind of girl who always falls for the wrong guy? Do you think that you can halt the violent ravages of a homicidal dictator with the strength of your love? Maybe it's time to just surrender to your bad judgment and go for it. Take this quiz and find out the identity of your tyrannical true love. Source:https://www. Theblogmocracy. Com/2009/11/25/totalitarian-progressi ve-and-imperialist-leaders-meet/
- 1.
What language do you think would be fun to learn?
- A.
Spanish
- B.
Korean
- C.
Arabic
- D.
Russian
- E.
Farsi
- F.
English is enough
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- 2.
Sometimes I have a craving for...
- A.
Camel milk
- B.
Hennessy Cognac with shark fin
- C.
Halal food
- D.
Chimukuyu and Dovi (dried beef in peanut butter sauce)
- E.
Arepas (Corn meal patty filled with meat, eggs, tomatoes, salad, cheese, shrimp, or fish)
- F.
Mutton and vodka
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- 3.
What would you enjoy doing on a first date?
- A.
Anti-imperialist baseball game. Your date throws the first pitch
- B.
Box seats at a militaristic stadium show with a cast of thousands
- C.
Roasting marshmallows on the burning remnants of a family’s farm
- D.
Romantic camping trip in a Bedouin tent, surrounded by scores of virgin bodyguards
- E.
No date. Fast forward to arranged marriage
- F.
Shooting tigers in the Urals
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- 4.
What is your lover's educational background?
- A.
PhD in Transportation Engineering and Planning
- B.
Bachelors in Marxist Political Theory
- C.
401st KGB school in Okhta, Leningrad
- D.
Seven degrees, including two law degrees earned while in prison and revoked honorary degrees
- E.
Military education in England and Greece
- F.
Academy of Military Sciences
-
- 5.
What is the most romantic way for your man to show his love?
- A.
He secretly gives you the honor of carrying his love child.
- B.
He tortures anyone who does not declare you the most beautiful woman in the country
- C.
He offers to take you as his second wife.
- D.
He promotes you from your position as his virginal bodyguard.
- E.
He kidnaps your director husband to remake your favorite movie with you as the star (and him as the hero)
- F.
Your pesky ex mysteriously succumbs to mercury poisoning.
-
- 6.
What body type drives you wild?
- A.
Rippling alabaster muscles
- B.
If you saw him from behind, you would think he was a fifth grader at the local hagwon whose mom wanted a girl so she dejectedly styles his hair in a bouffant.
- C.
An ironically portly frame in the image of his despised imperialist foes
- D.
If he had his back waxed, five cancer patients would get wigs
- E.
Madeleine Albright body double
- F.
You haven’t seen that kind of physique since you accidentally walked in on Great Uncle Melvin changing at the nursing home.
-
- 7.
What kind of stepchildren would you enjoy?
- A.
Wife abusing (allegedly) playboys who pay millions for performances from Mariah Carey and Beyonce.
- B.
Two beloved dogs named Koni and Buffy and two multilingual daughters
- C.
Illegitimate love spawn conceived while wife was dying of kidney problems.
- D.
Overweight Korean who tried to pass as a Dominican on a fake passport
- E.
Slightly nerdy looking engineers
- F.
Thousands of random street kids named Hugo with chia pet hair
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- 8.
What is your idea of pillow talk?
- A.
“I hereby accuse the North American empire of being the biggest menace to our planet.”
- B.
"In (my country) we don't have homosexuals like in your country... In Iran we do not have this phenomenon. I don't know who's told you that we have this."
- C.
"Our party must continue to strike fear in the heart of the white man, our real enemy.”
- D.
"if you are straight you have nothing to fear from AIDS"
- E.
“The strengthening of our statehood is, at times, deliberately interpreted as authoritarianism.”
- F.
The revolution is carried out by means of one's thought, not through one's family background.”
-
- 9.
What is a typical outfit for your totalitarian trend setter?
- A.
Khaki zip-up pantsuit with oversized shades
- B.
An eclectic mix of Kwanza, Miami Vice and military chic
- C.
Shirtless with an Ak-47
- D.
Business casual in muted tones-think San Diego mortgage company
- E.
Target employee
- F.
Hand me down suits from the Ronald Reagan era
-
- 10.
What kind of hair do you like to run your fingers through?
- A.
Thinning blond comb over
- B.
Puffy mushroom cloud, ironically declaring military aspirations
- C.
Closely cropped with the texture of steel wool
- D.
Lightly gelled body wave in homage to Little Richard
- E.
Aging Elvis bangs in front with carefully trimmed facial hair
- F.
Chia pet
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Current Version
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Mar 20, 2022Quiz Edited by
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Feb 25, 2011Quiz Created by
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