Which Disney-promoted Stockholm Syndrome Movie Character Are You?
I, Cogsworth, will take you on an adventure to find your true personality expressed in Beauty and the Beast characters. If you are lucky, you will find your personality congruous with mine. However, I am a rare creature and you shouldn't expect such luck. Peasant.
- 1.
What would you prefer your perpetually dismal appearance to be?
- A.
Eyes and Hair the Color of Excrement; Skin Whiter Than a Midwestern Suburb
- B.
Short Elegant Curls and a Healthy Figure
- C.
Effeminately Curled Blonde Hair and the Physique of a Starving Peasant
- D.
Sophisticated and Pleasantly Plump with a Matriarchal Gaze
- E.
'Roided-Up and Overly Hairy
-
- 2.
How do you usually behave in public?
- A.
Like an Over-Sexed, Reckless Cretin
- B.
Oversensitive and Temperamental
- C.
Nurturing and Kind
- D.
Witty and Respectable
- E.
Like a Know-It-All Peasant
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- 3.
Which profession would you choose to work in?
- A.
Librarian/Professor
- B.
Professional Liar (Politician)
- C.
Glorified Home Depot Employee (Interior Designer)
- D.
Lovely Person who Encourages Cleanliness (Housekeeper)
- E.
Chef
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- 4.
What is your best subject in school?
- A.
English
- B.
Science
- C.
Physical Education
- D.
Choir/Drama
- E.
Math
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- 5.
Which superhero would you like to be?
- A.
(The Brooding Loner) Batman
- B.
Feminist Icon (Wonder Woman)
- C.
Nerd who Knows How to Run (The Flash)
- D.
Useless Fish (Aquaman)
- E.
Witty Anti-Hero (Deadpool)
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- 6.
Who is your ideal romantic partner?
- A.
Tom Hiddleston
- B.
Emma Watson
- C.
Joe Mangeniello
- D.
Jamie Campbell-Bower
- E.
Megan Fox
- F.
Blake Lively
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- 7.
What is your dream wedding?
- A.
Hippie Trash (Bohemian)
- B.
Traditional
- C.
Tacky and Gaudy Hollywood
- D.
Literal Trash (Vintage)
- E.
Cultured Simplicity (Country)
-
- 8.
Which television program is your favorite?
- A.
Downton Abbey
- B.
Doctor Who
- C.
True Blood
- D.
Supernatural
- E.
Golden Girls
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- 9.
Which musical "artist" is your favorite?
- A.
Marvin Gaye
- B.
Nicki Minaj
- C.
Justin Bieber
- D.
Taylor Swift
- E.
Halsey
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- 10.
Which breed of dog do you find most tolerable?
- A.
The Storied and Noble Poodle
- B.
A Ridiculous Pomeranian
- C.
An Absurdly Oversized Saint Bernard
- D.
A Complaining Dalmatian
- E.
The Very Sweet Cocker Spaniel
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- 11.
Finally! Which Beauty and the Beast Character is your Favorite?
- A.
Me
- B.
Me
- C.
Me
- D.
Me
- E.
Mrs. Potts
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- 12.
What is your favorite way to pass the time?
- A.
Netflix (Lazy!)
- B.
Reading Books (Dweeb!)
- C.
Working Out (Jock!)
- D.
Cooking (A Very Useful Skill)
- E.
Listening to/Playing Music
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