Tough love, baby.
I give them great advice, because I'm the best at giving advice. That's why they came to me in the first place.
Sit quietly and listen, then offer my wisdom once they've gotten it all out.
I'll definitely help them through whatever they need, but I'm not terribly comfortable. Wouldn't they rather go elsewhere for this?
Gush about how proud I am of them. They deserve it!
Play with the scene until class is over.
Trash it anyway. Don't want 'em getting complacent.
Offer them my sincere congratulations, but tell them how surprised I am that they actually did well.
Ask them about their childhood.
If they still seem passionate about the work, then I'll help them find a new practice plan! Otherwise, I'll just move on to somebody who's actually focused.
Berate them. Nothing else is working, but I don't want to give up on them.
Tell them flat-out that I'm disappointed in them.
Let's play a game!
Either talking about poetry for fifteen minutes or an intense workout.
Gently. Suddenly, everyone is happily doing the work, with no clue how they got there.
General disdain without a definite target.
Tease them until they figure it out.
Talk about trees and hope they catch on.
Give them a really weird exercise that I learned in the mountains of Switzerland.
No clue! Maybe have them try it again, but faster? I'm kinda winging it at this point.
Set up a meeting with them and then tell them everything that I know.
Simultaneously answer their questions and promote my own brand to them. We're all doing what we gotta do.
I wasn't expecting anyone to reach out to me about anything, but I'm honored and I'll do my best to help.
Tell them to sleep their way to the top, 'cause that's showbiz, baby.
"You should be ashamed. I didn't like this at all. This was embarrassing."
"Right... Right... Okay, let's play!"
"Great, so that's exactly what you shouldn't do! But now you know for next time!"
"Trust yourself, trust the work. You know what to do."
"See, you have to play him like he has a big dick."
"Her? No, that was God-awful. Don't tell her I said that, obviously."
"Okay! Yes! That's so fun! Let's try it again!"
"Do you even want this?"
"Yes... Yes. The work... is good. Yes."
"You fucking kids, you're not even fucking trying."
"Alright, motherfuckers, let's go again."
"You must believe it before you can be it. Ready? Begin."
"That wasn't working for me. Last place for you. Now, can anyone tell him what he did wrong?"
"What? Oh, uh- yes. Sure. Good. Yes."
"Hello, everyone. I hope you're really enjoying your Friday. Let's get into the work."
"That's okay. Crying is fine. Let's work through it together. I'm here for you. Tell me everything you need."
"Hi, everybody! We have a special guest today, so don't fuck up. It'll be great, he's a great guy."
"You just gotta go out there and make it happen! You have rich friends, ask them for money!!"
"Oh, hello! I love seeing your smiling faces. What a good group."
"Okay so just go NUTS okay just go absolutely NUTS and it'll be GREAT let's GO"
Oh, of course not. Keep telling people that, though.
Yes. The work works.
Let them suffer.
Stop the scene, shame 'em, and make 'em take a seat.
Then we will cry together.
I'm gonna get down on their level and we'll get through this as a family.
Do I like them? I'm gonna tear 'em to pieces if I don't.
Oh, let's GO.
I read their energy.
I look at them and I KNOW.
I pretty much just don't.
Their parents are rich, maybe they'll donate.
Oh, I'm absolutely gonna make fun of them for it.
I'll help them out, but I'm hurt that they're not really trying...
I change nothing. I don't care whether they like it or not.
Double down on everything I'm doing! They just don't understand how important it is.
Call them out in front of everyone.
Pull them aside after class.
I nod in quiet appreciation and offer a smile, then I tell all the other teachers how much it really warmed my heart.
Oh! That's so sweet! I'd love for one of them to take a picture of all of us with it!
Angela's verse and text! Invaluable!
J. Steven White's stage combat, forever and always.
Noel's improv, you fucking idiot!
John Gould Rubin's self-producing class. I'm gonna need it.
Antonio. I didn't appreciate it until it was gone.
Betsy, obviously. The queen.
Ron Burrus. I could take that class a million times and never get it all.
Mike!! Always Mike!!
Paul's. Wreck me.
Alice's! The perfect environment to dig into the scene.
David's! It's a safe space to do really challenging stuff.
Jimmy's. I will do anything for that genius.
Joanne's freshman class. I'm counting on it being an ideo day.
Bill's class! Let's play!
Elena. We love the mask here.
Joan's class! Fix my broken body.
Here's an interesting quiz for you.