What Superfriend Are You?
Did you race downstairs on Saturday mornings to see the world's mightiest heroes fight the Legion of Doom? Find out whether you were pretending to be the right one!
- 1.
When you have a problem, do you
- A.
Grow extremely large, so that it seems smaller?
- B.
Try to get your head, arms or a flexible lightning bolt around it?
- C.
Run?
- D.
Preen compulsively?
- E.
Discuss it with a guardian?
- F.
Discuss it with a Guardian?
- G.
Cram it into "Crime Alley" with everything else?
- H.
Is the problem Kryptonite? Because otherwise, I don't have a problem.
-
- 2.
Pants ...
- A.
I am ultimately a part of the society I protect. Hence, I wear them.
- B.
Keeping gams like these from the world would be unjust. I have sworn to fight injustice in all forms. Ergo, no pants.
- C.
If you don't wear them, they can't end up anywhere incriminating.
- D.
That's a lot of uninterrupted color. I like to break it up with some underwear.
- E.
They are a privilege that must be earned.
- F.
I must be free from patriarchal bondage!
- G.
Are just skirts that are sewn together between the legs. No thanks!
- H.
Shaved .06 seconds off my 100m butterfly time! Plus, Atlantis was banned from the Olympics by Zeus himself, so I've got no reason to quit wearing them.
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- 3.
Would you describe yourself as ...
- A.
White (Non-Hispanic)
- B.
Asian/Pacific Islander
- C.
White (Vaguely Hispanic)
- D.
African-American
- E.
Native American/American Indian
- F.
Chick
- G.
Other
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- 4.
How fast can you vibrate?
- A.
As fast as anyone with Restless Leg Syndrome.
- B.
Before I had an injunction filed, that "close talker" episode of "Seinfeld" was called "Fast Shaker" and was about my handshakes.
- C.
How fast do you need, baby?
- D.
I don't ask for stir-sticks with my paint.
- E.
I am unencumbered by dimensional barriers.
-
- 5.
You're driving up to a yellow traffic light. Do you ...
- A.
Feel ineffectual?
- B.
Take quick mental inventory of the contents of your trunk and glove compartment?
- C.
Floor it?
- D.
Take the (traffic) law into your own hands?
- E.
Come to a complete stop to avoid being pulled over in the Batmobile?
- F.
How long have I been out of water, and how close is the nearest body of it?
- G.
Driving?
-
- 6.
If the Legion of Doom was going to execute me and I could choose my last meal, it would be ...
- A.
The chicken noodle soup my mother used to have the servants make for me. Before she was murdered by a craven criminal.
- B.
A Bunyan-esque frybread.
- C.
Three Fruits of Wisdom, harvested beneath the blue moon by the Handmaidens of Charity and served over a wedge of iceberg lettuce with a tall glass of water. It's my last meal? Oh, why not - throw on a scoop of cottage cheese and a picture of a cheesecake!
- D.
Tur-duck-in (a duck stuffed inside a turkey stuffed inside a dolphin.)
- E.
An apple pie wrapped in an American flag.
- F.
Like 20 White Castle sliders. When are they going to open a White Castle in Gotham?
-
- 7.
The feature I notice first in a person is ...
- A.
Heavy sleeper
- B.
Plumage
- C.
A healthy attitude toward strong, independent women
- D.
Resident of (or willingness to relocate to) ocean
- E.
An understanding of the life demanded by bushido. And a li'l somethin' to hold onto.
- F.
A kindred spirit to share my journey with
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