What Is Your Real Hogwarts House Though?

13 Questions | By Jaya.eaglestone | Last updated: Sep 9, 2020 | Total Attempts: 56

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What Is Your Real Hogwarts House Though? - Quiz

You May Get

Gryffindor

Generic protagonist house. You might not have a personality or you might be really decent, I don’t know, that’s for you to figure out yourself.

Slytherin

You might be unpleasant or a bit of a bitch. Probably cynical but also probably very funny.

Hufflepuff

You’re probably chubby/blonde/friendly.

Ravenclaw

zzZ. Bit boring luv. Has Jacob Rees-Mogg vibes; stuffy, traditional, dated, repressed homosexual, Tory etc...

Questions and Answers

1.

Which is the fittest race?
- A.
  
  White
- B.
  
  Black
- C.
  
  Brown
- D.
  
  East Asian
- E.
  
  Wasian
- F.
  
  Blasian
2.

Which British historical period has the best vibes?
- A.
  
  Tudor) Lute music, Shakespeare, shit in the streets.
- B.
  
  Georgian) Countryside, Mozart, rape.
- C.
  
  Victorian) Style, Empire, dangerous London.
- D.
  
  20th Century) Feminism, film & television, war.
3.

What’s the worst feeling to you?
- A.
  
  Sadness
- B.
  
  Fear
- C.
  
  Embarrassment
- D.
  
  Guilt
4.

Which is the cutest?
- A.
  
  Puppy
- B.
  
  Bear cub
- C.
  
  Little Indian boy
- D.
  
  Lion cub
5.

Who do you find the most beautiful? (Basic edition)
- A.
  
  Naomi Campbell
- B.
  
  Angelina Jolie
- C.
  
  Sophia Loren
- D.
  
  Audrey Hepburn
6.

If you could be a pro at cooking any dish from one of the following chain restaurants, which would it be?
- A.
  
  Bill’s) I could cook everyone great brunches
- B.
  
  Wahacas) Dinner party queen
- C.
  
  Nando’s) Boyfriend would never leave you
- D.
  
  Food For Friends) Vegetarian & classy
7.

Choose one
- A.
  
  Shit
- B.
  
  Piss
8.

Who gets to define what counts as ‘hate speech’?
- A.
  
  Me
- B.
  
  Nobody
- C.
  
  Marginalised groups
9.

Who would you want most as grandma/pa?
- A.
  
  Mary Berry
- B.
  
  Jeremy Paxman
- C.
  
  Germaine Greer
- D.
  
  Simon Schama
- E.
  
  Stephen Fry
- F.
  
  Camilla Parker-Bowles
10.

Is it fine to put on music by terrible people eg. paedophiles, rapists etc
- A.
  
  Yeah
- B.
  
  No
11.

Who are you snogging in the turret?
- A.
  
  A teacher, like Snape or someone 🙈
- B.
  
  Some average boy I could get my hands on
- C.
  
  Uummm one of the peng tings like Cedric or Draco
- D.
  
  No one, but I’m doing things to my broomstick.
- E.
  
  Threesome with Filch and Mrs. Norris
12.

You’re in Churchill Square when a terrorist bomb goes off in Superdrug. Whereabouts are you?
- A.
  
  I was in Superdrug and now I’m paralysed for life.
- B.
  
  Ah shit I was in WHSmiths next door, I’ll still try and get loads of attention though.
- C.
  
  I was all the way over in Debenhams but I’m traumatised .
- D.
  
  I was pretty close by in Zara but I’m not really affected.
- E.
  
  I was in McDonald’s blocking up another artery
13.

You got murdered, what does your old school do in memory?
- A.
  
  Plant a tree
- B.
  
  Memory bench
- C.
  
  Name the car park after you
- D.
  
  Have *Your name*’s Wish, a charity your mum set up come in every year to do an assembly.
- E.
  
  Nothing