Which Fabulous Betch Are You?

1. What is your dream job?

The most powerful human on planet Earth (just call me Mr. President)

Bartender (I specialize in mixing vodka and wine. I call it the PukeMaker)

International Consultant specializing in Strategic Planning (if we're getting specific)

A fabulous and hard-working mom (I make kick ass jam, all while running a multi-million dollar charity and coaching my son's soccer team!)

I have no fucking clue, stop trying to pressure me about my future you dickhole

Rich. Filthy fucking rich. Idgaf what I'm doing. (as long as I'm not a prostituka!)

2. How many times do you wack off/ flick the bean?

Um never. That's disgusting, and impersonal. Can we stop talking about this now?

Whenever my roommate's out of the room and I have the chance. Obvi!

I have no idea I loose count

Some of us aren't single fo life, and don't need to.

I decline to answer this and/or am ashamed of my answer

Once a month sounds like a good estimate for me!

3. True or False: I am extremely uncomfortable with the last question.

UM WHAT NORMAL HUMAN ISN'T!!!

Kinda- it seems like an invasion of my privacy...

Not really! Masturbating is a normal part of life- right?

4. It's Friday night and you walk into a club with all your friends. The musics poppin. The heat is risin. You're feeling good. You hit the dance floor immediately and decide to start out the night with your signature move. Your signature move is most closely:

TWERKING. Wall-twerking if possible....

Idk yo I just groove to da music. I feeeellll the beat and let it flooooow.

I do some interesting and un-replicable up and down movement with my shoulders, of course!

Hello, I swing dance! That is the ultimate and classic signature move.

I'm either in my own world goin cray, or trying to catch the eye of a possible HU hottie

5. You accidentally see a text on your best friend's phone from their mom that says "Dad has cancer. Please call immediately." What do you do?

Delete it. As soon as possible. Delete all evidence!!! Ignoring problems is the best way to make them go away.

Get really upset, and start to cry immediately. You want to be there for your friend, but you are thinking of the horrible tragedy of cancer, and cannot control yourself!

Pretend you didn't see it and wait for your friend to find the text and then possibly tell you. Its not your business to be looking at their phone!

Tell your friend you saw a text on their phone they need to see right away, and comfort them immediately.

6. What is your biggest vice?

Drankkkkk (and by drankkkk I mean the drug of alcohol)

Food. Hi my name is _____, and I am a glutton.

SHOPPING, hulloooooo

TV. I think I watch more TV than I sleep. That could be bad...

Sex. I am thinking of cutting back, I just have too much sex!

Honesty and Kindness- people tell me that sometimes I am too honest and too kind!

7. Describe your type of laughter

The endearing giggle (not too manly- not too feminine, what a balance!)

Wicked Witch of the West, baby. Oh, yes, I am a cackler!!

Silent, breathy, laugh that sort of sounds like I am choking on air

The cutesy giggle. I'm pretty dang cute if I do say so myself!

All over the place. It constantly changes, but I'm never too happy about it.

Nerd laugh. All the way.

I have no clue, I don't really pay attention to my laugh.

It's loud. Very loud. Sometimes possibly annoying....

8. How did you feel about going away to London before you left?

This is the story of a girl. Who cried a river and drowned the whole world (----> me before going to London)

I punched a few walls. But then I got over it.

I was scared shitless. I may have pooped my pants on the plane. (yes, I am aware of that contradiction)

FUCKING PUMPED TO LIVE IN LONDON TOWN, but sad to miss ma frens

Indifferent. I'm a nomad. I roam wherever the wind blows me, and I don't question it. I just listen to the mother earth.

9. It's YOUR turn to pic where fab bitches spend Saturday night. You decide:

The Zetland Arms!!!

Roxy

The Kitchen

Boujis

.....is all of us snuggling in my bed an option?

All over London.... doing a scavenger hunt!

Eating at an all you can eat burger buffet and getting reasonably smashed

10. If you were a condiment on a super burger- what would you be?

The chili- because I always keep things hot and spicy!

The bun, as I tend to hold everything together.

The meat. Obviously the beefy, juicy, red meat.

The fried egg of course! Just put me in a pan and cook me sunny side up ;)

The sauces...... I'm just a little saucy! I like it, how I like it, and that's how it is!

The bacon. Because, well, bacon's fucking awesome.

The lettuce. It's a vegetable, and so am I!

11. If I were to perform a sexual act for Dick in exhange for a grade, which act would I perform? (Please keepin in mind, the acts will be ranked from hardest to easiest, the hardest recieve best grade boosts, while these easier acts recieve less grade help)

Dirty RJ

Classic RJ

Anal, I barely feel anything that goes in there anyway.

Sex, but binding and light spanking included

Good Ole Fashioned Roll in the Sack

Full BJ

BJ (but I'm spitting motherfucker!)

OTPHJ (with eye contact)

OTPHJ (without eye contact)

12. You must HU with someone from team America. It will be a 5 minute make-out sesh. Who will you choose?

Jacqueline

Ali

BOTH of the Brees

Bryan

Alex

Megan Sutton

13. When I hear the song Tinder- wait I mean Timber, the emotion I feel is most close to:

Rage. Absolute and utter rage. Can Ke$ha come out with a new song already? I've only heard Timber like 10 times the amount I've heard the Star Spangled Fucking Banner!

Nostalgia. It reminds me of a time when I was at flipps.

Annoyance. Her voice sounds like Liesel from the Vontrapp family.

Boredom! Let's switch it up a bit!

Pure, unadulterated, ecstasy and joy. What a great song! Do I hear a grammy?

14. My pet peeve about people is:

Loud, gross, chewing. Especially if the food they're ingesting is really gross/ if slurping is incorporated.

Judgmental people. Who are to to judge my life! You don't know me!

People who say they're going to text me and then don't. DONT MESS WITH MY MIND MAN!

Mean people. Mean people suck.

People who think they're really smart, when actually, they are complete and total idiots.

Incessant and never ending talking from my roommate. JUST STFU ALREADY!

I don't really have any. I don't really get bothered by people.

Crazy eyes. That stare me down. They stare into my soul....

15. LAST QUESTION! You're going out to a night club, what sort of outerwear do you wear?

COLD ISN'T REAL! IT'S A STATE OF MIND! A.k.a no fucking jacket (I may or may not have a death wish)

A huge black parka. Every time. Without fail.

Sometimes a peacoat if the weather forces it. If not, i'm okay in a sweater or a button down.

A fashionable leather jacket of course! Gotta look trendy ;)