Rate My Facial Hair

10 Questions

Please wait...
Rate My Facial Hair

Are you a beardo, a stachemaster, or just a peachfuzz cowpoke? Find out now! (Yes, even if you're a female. )


Questions and Answers
  • 1. 
    Do you have facial hair?
    • A. 

      Why yes, I do.

    • B. 

      No, I don't. Sorry.

  • 2. 
    What kind of facial hair do you have?
    • A. 

      Mustache and beard

    • B. 

      Sideburns only

    • C. 

      Mustache, beard, sideburns

    • D. 

      Beard only

    • E. 

      Mustache only

    • F. 

      I don't have facial hair

  • 3. 
    Why did you grow your facescaping?
    • A. 

      Because it beats having to shave my whole damn face.

    • B. 

      To cover up (scars, weak chin/jawline, etc.)

    • C. 

      Because it makes me look good and feel good.

    • D. 

      As an artistic expression of the canvas that is me.

    • E. 

      No facial hair here.

  • 4. 
    Is your facial hair the same color as your head hair?
    • A. 

      Pretty much, yes.

    • B. 

      No, but that's just how it grows.

    • C. 

      No, because I color one or the other.

    • D. 

      I don't have facial hair.

  • 5. 
    How would you describe your beard?
    • A. 

      I don't have a beard.

    • B. 

      A goatee.

    • C. 

      A traditional beard.

    • D. 

      Other

    • E. 

      I'm telling you, I don't have any facial hair.

  • 6. 
    Describe your mustache, darling.
    • A. 

      I don't have a mustache.

    • B. 

      Modest, traditional, well-trimmed

    • C. 

      Pornstache and/or handlebar

    • D. 

      Free-range

    • E. 

      I don't have facial hair.

    • F. 

      Connects to my sideburns.

    • G. 

      Connects to my beard.

  • 7. 
    How long do you grow that fur on your face?
    • A. 

      Less than 1/2 inch.

    • B. 

      One-half to one inch.

    • C. 

      One to two inches.

    • D. 

      As long as I can get it.

    • E. 

      Still no facial hair!

  • 8. 
    How do you keep your facial hair clean?
    • A. 

      Like, it gets wet in the shower.

    • B. 

      I wash it with soap or shampoo.

    • C. 

      It has its own set of products.

    • D. 

      Well, if I had any...but I don't!

  • 9. 
    Do you mind having fingers run through your facial hair?
    • A. 

      Hands off the art, bitch.

    • B. 

      I'm selective, but the right person? Absolutely.

    • C. 

      I consider it an admission fee to the rest of me.

    • D. 

      Whatever floats your boat, but I'm not responsible for bites.

    • E. 

      I don't have any, so...

  • 10. 
    How would you react if your significant other didn't appreciate your facial hair?
    • A. 

      Relationships are full of compromise...let's talk about it.

    • B. 

      Love me, love my scruff. Otherwise, take a hike.

    • C. 

      Oh, I can be VERY persuasive.

    • D. 

      Nope, don't have any facial hair.