Rate My Facial Hair
Are you a beardo, a stachemaster, or just a peachfuzz cowpoke? Find out now! (Yes, even if you're a female. )
- 1.Do you have facial hair?
- A.
Why yes, I do.
- B.
No, I don't. Sorry.
- 2.What kind of facial hair do you have?
- A.
Mustache and beard
- B.
Sideburns only
- C.
Mustache, beard, sideburns
- D.
Beard only
- E.
Mustache only
- F.
I don't have facial hair
- 3.Why did you grow your facescaping?
- A.
Because it beats having to shave my whole damn face.
- B.
To cover up (scars, weak chin/jawline, etc.)
- C.
Because it makes me look good and feel good.
- D.
As an artistic expression of the canvas that is me.
- E.
No facial hair here.
- 4.Is your facial hair the same color as your head hair?
- A.
Pretty much, yes.
- B.
No, but that's just how it grows.
- C.
No, because I color one or the other.
- D.
I don't have facial hair.
- 5.How would you describe your beard?
- A.
I don't have a beard.
- B.
A goatee.
- C.
A traditional beard.
- D.
Other
- E.
I'm telling you, I don't have any facial hair.
- 6.Describe your mustache, darling.
- A.
I don't have a mustache.
- B.
Modest, traditional, well-trimmed
- C.
Pornstache and/or handlebar
- D.
Free-range
- E.
I don't have facial hair.
- F.
Connects to my sideburns.
- G.
Connects to my beard.
- 7.How long do you grow that fur on your face?
- A.
Less than 1/2 inch.
- B.
One-half to one inch.
- C.
One to two inches.
- D.
As long as I can get it.
- E.
Still no facial hair!
- 8.How do you keep your facial hair clean?
- A.
Like, it gets wet in the shower.
- B.
I wash it with soap or shampoo.
- C.
It has its own set of products.
- D.
Well, if I had any...but I don't!
- 9.Do you mind having fingers run through your facial hair?
- A.
Hands off the art, bitch.
- B.
I'm selective, but the right person? Absolutely.
- C.
I consider it an admission fee to the rest of me.
- D.
Whatever floats your boat, but I'm not responsible for bites.
- E.
I don't have any, so...
- 10.How would you react if your significant other didn't appreciate your facial hair?
- A.
Relationships are full of compromise...let's talk about it.
- B.
Love me, love my scruff. Otherwise, take a hike.
- C.
Oh, I can be VERY persuasive.
- D.
Nope, don't have any facial hair.
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