Are You A Secret Muslim?
According to great thinkers like Glenn Beck, Michael Savage, and Rush Limbaugh, there may be millions of Secret Muslims hiding in the U. S. They're in our schools, in our 24 hour eating establishments, and in all three branches of our federal government! What's worse, many of these Secret Muslims don't even know who they are, innocently going about their lives thinking that they are members of other, more popular, religions. Trust no one - especially not yourself - until they've taken the official Chewing Tin Foil Secret Muslim Test!
- 1.Why do you hate America?
- A.
For its freedom
- B.
They discontinued the McRib
- C.
The disparity between the rich and poor
- D.
It's not Jesus-y enough
- 2.At your next Beer Summit, what kind of beer will are you most likely drink?
- A.
Bud Lite
- B.
Red Stripe
- C.
Blue Moon
- D.
I don't drink
- 3.Cat Stevens...
- A.
Is a great singer
- B.
Is the greatest singer
- C.
Is no Ted Nugent
- D.
Is now known as Yusuf Islam.
- 4.The First Amendment to the Constitution guarantees which of the following:
- A.
Freedom of Religion - even if that religion is unpopular
- B.
Freedom of the press
- C.
The right to say the N-word on the radio
- D.
All of the above
- 5.Would you like some bacon?
- A.
Yes, please!
- B.
No thank you, I'm on a diet.
- C.
No thank you, I'm a vegetarian.
- D.
No thank you, pigs are filthy animals.
- 6.Where did you attend school?
- A.
Harvard Law
- B.
A madrasah
- C.
Public School
- D.
I was home shcooled
- 7.When is it okay for a woman to have bare arms in public?
- A.
Whenever she wants
- B.
Only at state dinners and for official photo-ops
- C.
Women, just like men, have a constitutional right to bare arms as often as they want
- 8.Are there any Muslims in your family? (include any deceased parents or other direct ancestors)
- A.
Yes
- B.
No
- C.
No way!
- D.
Don't know
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