Why Am I Still Single?

8 Questions | By Leinchankireii | Updated: Mar 21, 2022 | Attempts: 4226

Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. They may have just gotten out of a meaningful relationship or have dated relentlessly and just haven’t found someone with whom they’re truly compatible.

You May Get

Defenses

Most people have been hurt in interpersonal relationships. With time and painful experiences, we all risk building up varying degrees of bitterness and becoming defended. This process begins long before we start dating, in our childhoods, when hurtful interactions and dynamics lead us to put up walls or perceive the world through a filter that can negatively impact us as adults. These adaptations can cause us to become increasingly self-protective and closed off. In our adult relationships, we may resist being too vulnerable or write people off too easily.

Pickiness

Our own defenses often leave us feeling pickier and more judgmental. This is particularly true after we’ve had bad experiences, where we were deceived or rejected by a person for whom we had strong feelings. Many women start to have thoughts like, “There are no decent men out there” or “All the good ones are taken.” Men may have thoughts like, “You can’t trust a women” or “Women are all out to take advantage of you.” We may have unrealistic expectations for a partner or pinpoint weaknesses from the moment we meet someone. When viewing the world from critical or distrusting eyes, we tend to write off a range of potential partners before even giving them a chance. We think of dating certain people as “settling” without ever seeing how that person could make us happy in the long-term.

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Questions and Answers

1.

You most get insecure about being single when?
- A.
  
  A guy/girl starts flirting with me and I don't want them near me
- B.
  
  When I have to see my friends all over their bf/gf
- C.
  
  When I see my ex/someone I like with someone else
- D.
  
  When I really AM single!
2.

What do you do then?
- A.
  
  I go out with my friends to take my mind off of it
- B.
  
  I have go out on a date to take my mind off of it
- C.
  
  I make some quality time for myself or go online
- D.
  
  I go up and flirt with the person I like
3.

How do you tell someone you like them?
- A.
  
  I go up to them directly and tell them
- B.
  
  I don't. We have a good thing going and I don't want to ruin it by telling them I like them.
- C.
  
  I flirt and tell them how cute they look
- D.
  
  I compliment them, make them feel nice, then subtly tell them.
4.

When a cute guy/girl is flirting with you, you...?
- A.
  
  Flirt back! It's obvious they like me :)
- B.
  
  I honestly wouldn't know what to do.
- C.
  
  I'd flirt back, but really, there's someone else on my mind.
- D.
  
  I must be imagining things, this doesn't really happen.
5.

Why did you last relationship end? (If you haven't had one/ don't remember then why do you think it ended?)
- A.
  
  I don't know, it was such a huge surprise and it hurt. I wish I knew what went wrong..
- B.
  
  We just died down, I guess.
- C.
  
  Rumors were spreading
- D.
  
  I've never had one.
6.

What do you do after a heartbreak?
- A.
  
  I'm going to go out and meet someone knew.
- B.
  
  I'm sad, but it had been getting like this for a while.
- C.
  
  I seclude myself in my room, I can't believe what happened!
- D.
  
  I contact them. Maybe we can work things out.
7.

It's a Friday night, where would you most likely be?
- A.
  
  At a club/mall/hangout meeting some people!
- B.
  
  I'm hanging out with the person I like.
- C.
  
  I'm browsing the internet and messaging people. Only the guys/girls I find cute of course!
- D.
  
  I'm by myself, just enjoying my 'me' time.
8.

Final question: Do you want to be in a relationship?
- A.
  
  Of course! But I don't want the person I'm dating with to show me they want to be with me.
- B.
  
  Yeah but only with this one guy/girl. I don't think they want to though.
- C.
  
  Yes but I have to get to know them first