Surviving In Britain

1. Your name is Giovanni and it's your first day of work at Dobbs & Co. One of your duties is to answer the telephone. When you answer, you say

Yeh, what do you want?

Good morning, Dobbs & Co. Giovanni speaking. How can I help?

'Morning. Dobbs & Co.

You must sound cheerful and eager to help on the telephone. Customers like to know who they are talking to.

Explanation

You must sound cheerful and eager to help on the telephone. Customers like to know who they are talking to.

2. You are invited to meet the Queen. When you are introduced, you

Slap Her Majesty on the back and say, "Hi, there, your Maj."

Say, "Hello, Liz. How are the grandkids?"

Speak only if the Queen speaks to you and address her first as "Your Majesty" .

If you are invited to meet the Queen, you should not speak unless she speaks to you. You address her first as "Your Majesty" and then as "Ma'am". You do not have to bow or curtsey but it is appreciated if you do.

Explanation

If you are invited to meet the Queen, you should not speak unless she speaks to you. You address her first as "Your Majesty" and then as "Ma'am". You do not have to bow or curtsey but it is appreciated if you do.

3. You are staying with a British family and their dog sits on you, gives you his paw and licks you. You say

Isn't he sweet?

Help! Get me out of here!

Why don't you put him on the balcony?

The British love their pets and the dog is behaving quite normally. You must NEVER criticise a British person's pet. A British house doesn't usually have a balcony but in any case, most British people do not keep their pets outside.

Explanation

The British love their pets and the dog is behaving quite normally. You must NEVER criticise a British person's pet. A British house doesn't usually have a balcony but in any case, most British people do not keep their pets outside.

4. You have a job interview in Britain with the company Dobbs & Co. The interviewer invites you to ask questions. You say

How much will you pay me?

When will I have my first holiday?

I've been reading about your company and I'd like to ask about exports.

It is wise to show that you know something about the company and are interested in it. You should not ask about money until you are offered the job [unless the interviewer mentions it].

Explanation

It is wise to show that you know something about the company and are interested in it. You should not ask about money until you are offered the job [unless the interviewer mentions it].

5. You are standing at a bus stop on a sunny morning in Britain. Another person who is waiting says, "Lovely weather, isn't it?" You reply

No, I think it's cold.

Yes, it is.

I think it's going to rain.

The British always talk about the weather. It's the only time we talk to strangers! You must ALWAYS agree with us about the weather!

Explanation

The British always talk about the weather. It's the only time we talk to strangers! You must ALWAYS agree with us about the weather!

6. A British person shakes your hand and says, "How do you do?" The correct response is

How do you do?

Fine, thank you.

Pleased to meet you

Crazy as it seems, the correct response is "How do you do?". We say this in a formal situation.

Explanation

Crazy as it seems, the correct response is "How do you do?". We say this in a formal situation.