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"Oh, I can top that!"
"You' re hilarious! "
" Penises are funny,huh? Even funnier when I cut them off! "
Eat it, but then casually leave the box on my nemesis coworker's desk, so your boss thinks they did it.
Eat it, dispose of it outside, but then mention to your boss how much your nemesis coworker loves Chinese food.
Eat it in front of your boss.
Leave it in the fridge, and then watch to make sure nobody else takes it. If they do, you'll tell on them.
Eat it outside in the parking lot, then dispose of it in the communal dumpster so nobody ever finds it.
Eat it, because it is rightfully yours.
Sleep with his/her friend.
Keep flirting with the crush, perhaps subtly, until he/she gives in.
Say " I don 't blame you, I don' t like me either! " just to lighten the mood.
Be very upset, and perhaps cry for a bit.
Punch the person in the face.
Think, " They don 't know what they' re missing! "
Honor and duty
Being powerful and successful
Causing pain to people who harm you
Yes, I love to drink!
Yes, only at parties, and not enough to get drunk.
Yes, but mostly when I'm stressed or upset.
I rarely have reasons to drink.
Sleeping with the wrong person
Hurting someone physically
Taking credit for someone else's work
Betraying a friend
I can't think of any truly bad thing I've done
Loving, monogamous, and soft
Monogamy preferred but not necessary, and anything goes in the bedroom.
With a random, and a little dirty
Illicit and forbidden
Rough...like 50 shades of grey
I'm not really into sex.
Yes, I love fashion!
I use fashion to say something about my status.
I don't care about fashion.
I hate fashion.
Try and get the person to act in a way that will impress my family.
Keep seeing the person, but lie to my family about seeing him/her.
Try to convince my family to let me see the new person
See the person anyway, and do nothing to hide it from my family.
Listen to my family about the person and figure out if they might actually be right
Hint that she may have slept her way up the ladder.
Allow her to sabotage herself, by influencing upper management to give her more work than she can handle.
Explain to your boss that the job is rightfully yours.
Tell her you think she's a backstabbing bitch.
Not care- You don't really care about moving up in your company.
Figure she deserved it, despite her age and lack of experience.
Run away from home and find someone else.
Agree to marry the person, but cheat on him/her
Teach yourself to tolerate the person.
Accept your parents' decision and remain faithful to the person. If your parents chose him/her, they obviously had a reason.
FInish up, then come out and crack a joke about it.
Finish the poo, then wash your hands and act like nothing happened
Come out, notice your coworker and say, " What are you looking at? Haven 't you seen someone take a shit before?"
Slyly change your shoes when you return to the office, so that your coworker won' t know who was using the toilet.
Stay in the stall,humiliated,until your coworker leaves.
Fling poo at him.
My own interests.
The interests of my family.
No,I 'm okay being boring.
How dare they! I am NOT boring!
I hope they underestimate me as "boring", so I can screw them over later.
Nobody could ever think I was boring.
Yes, and it causes me to do destructive things sometimes.
Yes, and it causes me to make bad choices sometimes.
Yes, but I don' t react to my anger right away- I think about it.
No,I don 't really have a temper.
Confess to the crime, but don' t cover for my best friend- he was guilty too.
See if my parents can grease things along to get me out of jail.
Try to strike a deal where you inform on your best friend 's other illegal activities in order to get immunity.
Insist you are innocent.
Flirt with the cop.
Plant drugs in his car so that the next time he' s pulled over,he 'll go to jail.
Make jokes about him so that he feels stupid in front of your other coworkers.
Be pretty impressed with the car- why would I be annoyed by this?
Warn him that he is going to make enemies with that behavior.
Key his car.
No, I admire them.
No, because I don' t really care about looks.
No- I care about looks,but I 'm no stunner, and I' m used to seeing people better looking than me.
I hate people better looking than me.
I don 't get jealous of them, but I normally assume they' re shallow or dumb.
I avoid them at all costs.
I avoid them,unless its morally necessary to get involved.
I purposefully start trouble- I love conflict and drama.
I don 't go after drama, but if it benefits me, I' ll take part.
Yes,I love the idea of being married. It 's romantic.
Yes, because it' s good to have a partner to support you.
I don 't really care about marriage either way.
Marriage means there' s someone who wants to sleep with you all the time- so I like that part of it,but I 'm also fine just screwing around.
I don' t want to get married.
I 'd rather be single than marry someone who wasn' t my 100% ideal.
Yes,mostly because I find wealth to be a turn on.
Absolutely- it 's a very smart idea.
I would never prioritize wealth when choosing a partner.
Sit there shyly until someone approaches me.
Enjoy the party by myself.
Start flirting with the sexier people there.
Start getting angry that everyone was ignoring me.
Leave- this party sounds really boring.
Start conversations with people to try and make friends.
Try to learn from them.
Be very shy around them- I mean, A MILLION dollars? They' re basically a God.
Not be that impressed. Money doesn 't mean that much.
Try to associate myself with that person.
Be a little bitter around that person.
"You' re ugly! "
" You 're stupid!"
"You' re incompetent! "
" You 're a wimp!"
"You have no honor!"
None of these bother me.
Having kids is one of the most important things.
I would like to have kids, but if it doesn' t happen it 's no big deal.
I' m pretty sure I would hate to have kids.
I 'm neutral on kids.
That' s terrible! What if it happens to me too?
That 's awful, but she clearly wasn' t aware of her surroundings.
I 'm going to walk her route tonight, and see if I meet the mugger- then I' ll apprehend him!
Maybe if I pay her hospital bills,she 'll owe me something later...
She obviously wasn' t a worthwhile friend,then. Next!
Put up with it,and wince whenever he/she comes home with a new lay.
Seduce one of the guys/girls yourself.
Plant another woman 's bra, or another man' s boxers,in your roommate 's bed, to scare off new partners.
Find out if your roommate has any equally whorish friends who might want to have sex with you.
Stand up to your roommate and tell him/her that this is a dealbreaker for you.
Vandalize your roommate' s room,right before moving out,so he/she can 't confront you.
Be grossed out, but not say anything.
Not care, because everyone is allowed to have their own quirks.
Demand that they stop making that face.
Try to find the face sexy, and actually start getting more turned on.
Try to have sex with the person in a position where you can' t see the face.
Stop having sex,and never explain why.
Keep quiet- it 's not my business.
Inform the boyfriend that you will tell your friend about the affair.
Tell your friend right away without consulting the boyfriend.
Assume your friend probably isn' t a good girlfriend,so part of this might be her fault.
Tell the boyfriend that unless he pays for your rent this month,or does something else for you,that you will tell your friend. Otherwise,he can count on your discretion.
I hate it!
It 's fine, when it adds to the story.
I love it!
I don' t watch TV.
Cry,and hope that it doesn 't mean the relationship is over.
Try to get someone to seduce the other woman/man so that your boyfriend/girlfriend will see what it' s like to be betrayed.
Forgive,but then use the affair as leverage to get what you want in the relationship.
End the relationship and cut off all ties.
Try to keep the relationship together,despite the betrayal.
Fight off the urge to kill them both
Relatively conservative- I mostly laugh at other people 's jokes.
Some people say my jokes are mean, I just think they' re funny.
I have a decent sense of humor,but I can 't laugh at anything others might find offensive.
I do not laugh.
I prefer jokes that are made at someone else' s expense.
My jokes are very dirty,and sometimes bathroom oriented.
I prefer "wit" to "humor"