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The research, plotting, writing, rewriting, editing, and all the other tedious paperwork.
Dealing with all the marriage proposals from adoring fans.
Deciding on what to spend your royalties.
It probably depends on the writer and the story.
More boring than watching grass grow.
What' s a spreadsheet?
Something a good writer doesn 't need because she' ll work with a copy editor before publication.
Worth her weight in chocolate.
A human spellchecker.
Stands for "listening book."
Is an homage to "The L-Word" -- only with better writing.
Means "lesbian book."
Is created by lighting a candle and wearing a sexy thong before you sit down to write.
Is created when all that damn grammar is giving the writer a headache.
Is created to express wishes, commands, and statements that are contrary to fact.
Is created with "were," not "was," even if the pronoun is "he" or "she."
Show, don't tell.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Ever romance must have a happy end.
Put in a sex scene at least every five chapters.
Your beta reader is always right.
The Bible (or other holy books, depending on the writer's religion).
The Chicago Manual of Style.
It's best not to have the first name end in "s"
It's best not to have the last name end in "s"
It's best not to have two characters have first names starting with the same letter.
It's best to pair a short first name with a longer last name and vice versa.
It's best not to name characters after your ex-girlfriends.
That every story needs a beginning, a middle, and an end.
That each romance novel needs to have at least three sexual acts.
That every chapter should have at least three scenes.
Story idea, research, plotting, writing, rewriting, editing/proofreading, creating the cover, working with a copy editor, cashing in the paycheck.
Using last book's paycheck to buy research books, writing, editing, rewriting.
Story idea, finding a harem of beta readers, writing, copy editing, submitting your work to the publisher, creating the cover, cashing in the paycheck.
Unattributed dialogue that leaves the reader confused as to who said what.
Shifting the point of view in mid-scene.
Creating reader identification with the characters by having the character be kicked in the head during an action scene.
Backwards to Oregon
Conflict of Interest
Next of Kin
Change of Pace
The Art of Pretending
The issues Americans have with orange juice and pizza toppings
Hyphens and dashes
Something that only happens in romances with an NC-17 rating.
A phrase that doesn't modify any word in the sentence.
A minor character that doesn't fit in with the other characters.
A plotting mistake where storylines aren't properly resolved and the reader is left hanging.
Just one. Writers are solitary creatures anyway.
One writer, but she can only do it with the help of at least one beta reader, two plot advisors, a copy editor, and a couple of test readers.
What do you mean "change the lightbulb"? A true writer doesn't stop her writing for things like that. She continues writing just by the light of her laptop screen.
Two if they're writers of romance novels. And then they'll write happily ever after.
That depends on the number of plot obstacles.