Ignore him. There are thousands of hobos, what makes him different?
Beat him up for the hell of it.
Give him whatever spare change I have.
Strangle him, then sell his corpse on eBay. For the lulz.
Buy him a new wardrobe, send him to AA, pay for whatever educational needs he has, and ensure that he becomes a success.
Tell them to go get their wallet, you'll wait right here.
Beat the hell out of them, right there in the restaurant.
Make a huge scene in the restaurant, so you'll get kicked out without paying.
Pay for it, but make them pay you back.
Buy him one! And what's wrong with hugs!?
Tell him that stranger over there will buy him one.
MAKE HIM BUY YOU POT.
Push him over, then flee!
Buy him one, but demand some sort of reward.
Rape her! Violently!!
Beat the hell out of her.
Give her lots of money.
Toss her off and flee.
Toss her off you, curbstomp her, and leave it at that.
Rob them for all they've got!
Pretend to believe them, then lie right back in a mocking way.
Not pay attention. Go to sleep, maybe.
Pretend to believe them.
Pretend to believe them, then let them know you knew when they're finished talking.
Old people have done nothing for me, why should I care?
There's a day for old people?
Well, good for them.