Pull the reins out of their hands and gallop off.
Put in a big buck and go into a fast canter.
Go into a slow canter. You don't want to misbehave!
Rear up, then gallop off.
OMG did you just do that? OMG! Chuck the rider and gallop.
Well, they jagged me in the mouth. They can't expect me to go faster now, can they? Zzzzzz....
Speed up then stop dead in front of the jump.
Can so clear that!! Try and if you fail, clear the rest.
Listen to the aids, and speed up or slow down according to the aids. Maybe have a go?
Well, they're going about it all wrong. Buck and speed up.
Aaaargh! Rear up as high as you can to ditch the rider.
Yawn and have a go. It doesn't matter anyway.
Buck a few times and jump. Four small bucks is enough.
Wow, an excuse to buck! Buck between the jumps, but really over-jump every time.
Be a perfect pony and don't buck at all. Jump perfectly; you want to win that pretty rosette!
Ooh, this sounds fun! Buck and rear a couple of times, refuse one jump, and jump the rest.
Well, you like jumping. The others are being silly. Jump!
You're too tired and bored to be naughty. Just jump and get it over with.
Ooh cool! Do some fancy dressage moves.
Canter round and round the arena and jump the fence.
Stand very still.
Start trotting around. Then give yourself a big shake.
This is odd. But fun! Canter!
Go to sleep.
Break into canter. Wheeeeee!
The second he gives you a nudge, canter forward and jump the nearest fence.
Are you kidding? I won't stand for this! Throw the man!
Buck three times in a row, then behave nicely for the rest of the lesson.
Give them one more chance to up their riding. If they remain terrible, canter off and buck.
The sooner this is over, the sooner I can have my nap. Be very patient. Maybe when he dismounts he'll give me a carrot for being nice!
GALLOP! AHHH, SCARY BIRD!
Oh, a little bluebird. How terrifying. Hey, wait for me, guys! Canter after your friends.
It's not very fair, is it? Sidestep away from the bird and trot after your friends, very gently.
HEY! WAIT!!! AHHH, OMG it's a BIRD! Buck and canter off.
Hmm, is that very scary? Oh, well, I don't really like it. Run away to your friends.
Try to eat the bird. It smells so good. Just plod along.
Hey, that hurts. Back away. Someone tell her she's doing it all wrong!
Close your mouth. There's no way she's bashing your teeth!
Resist for a bit. Then give in. She'll have to learn from that.
Hey. Hey, stop it. I said STOP IT! Jam your mouth shut and back away.
Hold your head up where she can't reach it and back off.
Nnnnngh... Open your mouth really wide so it doesn't hurt so much, and then search her for treats.