N.F.L. Commissioner Roger Goodell, to request tweeting privileges during the Super Bowl.
Speaker of the House John Boehner, out of concern over his dour appearance during the State of the Union.
Patriots owner Robert Kraft, about the specifics of the team’s playoff bonuses.
Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences President Tom Sherak, to request a cameo appearance at the Oscars.
Disney World’s Fantasyland, because he’s "detached from reality."
Salt Lake City, because he "will leave taxpayers high and dry."
Hawaii, because he’s "clearly still on a holiday."
Lake Winnipesaukee, New Hampshire, because "we already shared the same health-care plan, why not the same vacation town, too?"
He dismissively referred to Canada as "America’s hat," and Quebec as "America’s tiny beret."
He skipped a White House event to protest the federal government.
He left the ice to make a phone call during the pregame singing of "O Canada."
He made derogatory comments about the left wing lock.
Sending astronauts to Mars.
Reviving Ronald Reagan’s "Star Wars" satellite-defense system.
Making Laser Floyd available to every citizen within driving distance of a planetarium.
Establishing the first permanent base on the moon.
"The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."
"Transformers: Dark of the Moon."
He has a three-episode role as a liberal, loquacious advisor on the King’s Small Council in the upcoming season of "Game of Thrones."
He’ll consider a Presidential run in 2016.
He’s getting married.
He and Newt Gingrich are golfing buddies.
Funding electric-car manufacturing.
Rewarding colleges and universities that lower tuition.
Increasing unemployment benefits.
Accelerating the green-energy industry.
Unemployment will be down to seven per cent by the end of the year.
The New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl.
The Democrats will win back a majority in the House of Representatives.
The New York Giants will win the Super Bowl.
Raise the carried-interest tax rate.
Close the carried-interest tax loophole.
Cap the deductibility of corporate debt.
Tax money earned as personal income rather than as capital gains.