What Kind Of TV Pitching Devil Are You?

10 Questions | Attempts: 72

What Kind Of TV Pitching Devil Are You? - Quiz

So you've got an idea for a new TV show, have you? I bet you want to sell your idea to a network for millions, don't you? Unfortunately, not everyone has got what it takes for a pitch to be successful - and that goes for people on both sides of the buyer's desk. Find out whether you are a TV pitching winner or sinner.


You May Get

Esteemed Executive Producer

You spent your early career collecting awards for your programmes. You are full of ideas that spring forth fully-formed from your enormous brain. You’ve been called a(n evil) genius. You know everyone in television; you went to school with most of them. Some have gone on to greater things than you, but they were just lucky; it was nothing to do with talent. You have a massive mortgage and need to pay the school fees, which means you’ve sometimes had to take jobs that have demeaned you. But in public at least, you are fiercely proud of your work. And just because you haven’t won an award in years doesn’t mean you won’t. You just need to make sure the kids get through school first. You made you name making programmes about property development, but your last show tanked (insider speak for ‘nobody watched it’) and the bottom has fallen out of the market (insider speak for ‘you can’t get anything commissioned’). You’ve suddenly realised that you only know how to make one type of programme and are worried you’ll soon be found out. The commissioner, the one who had some great ideas in your meetings that you could ‘run with’ (and they may even have slept with you once at a conference), has moved on. The new commissioner (who used to be your personal assistant) isn’t returning your calls. What you need is some new ideas, and fast.

Desperate TV Commissioner

You have made a few programmes and spent some time in development, getting by with moderate success and a lot of luck. Now you’ve crossed over to the dark side you have the power to create careers and crush dreams. But mostly, you live in fear that you will commission something that turns out to be an embarrassment and get you fired. Or worse, that you will turn down something that goes on to be a global success. You are under siege but you haven’t seen an original idea in months. It can’t be that hard to come up with a noisy new tent pole (insider speak for big hit around which a channel can build a whole week’s or even season’s schedule).   When you do get a half decent show, the channel scheduler gets cold feet when the first episode doesn’t win the overnight ratings war. He moves it around the schedule trying to find a larger audience, but the viewers can’t find it and they all go off watch The Wire instead. When your show gets yanked it from the schedule, irate fans send 18,000 kilograms of nuts to your office in protest (those disgruntled Jericho fans really set a precedent). And that ruins your day.   The channel keeps slashing your budget and all producers do is complain. What do they expect you to do? Fund them out of your own pocket?   Any idea that you think is innovative sends the advertisers into a spin. They keep sending you free samples the hope that they will subliminally influence you to use product placement in their programmes.   Other channels beat you to air with programmes you’re sure they’ve stolen from you. There must be a spy in your midst: no one is beyond suspicion.   The average age of the audience is 50 and they keep getting older; but advertisers insist on programmes that appeal to young audiences.  At least young means under 49 (if you stretch the demographics), which is some consolation for you, at least for a couple more years. The younger audience is probably too busy creating their own content for You Tube to watch television.   You’re fed up of executive producers who think just because you once slept with them you’ll want to buy their half-baked ideas (it wasn’t that good: you don’t owe them anything). And conference bars are a nightmare, with sweaty producers lurching towards you with their pathetic pitches. All you want is a stiff drink and to go to bed. Alone.   And now the drama writers want more money and are going out on strike. You need more programme ideas and fast. But where from, at this short notice?
& many more results.
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Questions and Answers
  • 1. 
    You  think TV development producers (who specialize in generating and pitching ideas) are:
    • A. 

      A waste of space

    • B. 

      A necessary evil

    • C. 

      Ideas bandits

    • D. 

      On a cushy number

  • 2. 
    You think foreign TV shows are:
    • A. 

      Essential viewing at the TV conference hotel - there might be some new ideas you can 'adopt'.

    • B. 

      A source of envy - why don't your shows have those viewing figures / production values?

    • C. 

      Trash. You only produce socially responsible works of art.

    • D. 

      Perfect for 'tweaking' for the domestic market. No one will notice. Hopefully.

  • 3. 
    TV commissioning executives:
    • A. 

      Have only got where they are by sleeping with the right people. And some of the wrong ones too.

    • B. 

      Are put upon and surrounded by fools.

    • C. 

      Are nothing but funding sex objects.

    • D. 

      Are clueless idiots who wouldn't know a good idea if someone presented it to them.

  • 4. 
    The viewing public:
    • A. 

      Is of no consequence. I only make films that might impress industry award panels.

    • B. 

      Is fickle and unpredictable.

    • C. 

      Gets in the way when I'm trying to film landscape shots.

    • D. 

      Don't know what's good for them.

  • 5. 
    Ideas:
    • A. 

      Come to me in a flash of inspiration. Often in the bedrooms of foreign hotels.

    • B. 

      All look the same these days. Where are all the big, noisy, fresh new ones?

    • C. 

      Get stolen. NEVER tell anyone your idea.

    • D. 

      Come from other people.

  • 6. 
    Developing a new TV show idea:
    • A. 

      Is best left to other people. I'm too busy.

    • B. 

      Is a political minefield. And I'm usually the main casualty.

    • C. 

      Is an anathema. I make films.

    • D. 

      Is like giving birth to a football.

  • 7. 
    Proposals for new TV show concepts:
    • A. 

      Are best when scrawled on the back of an envelope - anything more is a waste of my precious time.

    • B. 

      Make me lose the will to live.

    • C. 

      Are pointless - an artistic vision cannot be constrained on a piece of paper.

    • D. 

      Are an ideal opportunity for me to show how erudite I am.

  • 8. 
    The pitch for a new TV show is:
    • A. 

      Best done in the conference bar at midnight.

    • B. 

      Usually all style and no substance.

    • C. 

      An area where sweaty sporting activities are performed.

    • D. 

      An opportunity to bullsh*t, er, be verbally creative.

  • 9. 
    Finding new onscreen talent:
    • A. 

      Can't be that hard, I just don't have time at the moment.

    • B. 

      Is a rare skill.

    • C. 

      Is not my job.

    • D. 

      Is a pain in the ass.

  • 10. 
    International co-producers:
    • A. 

      Always put a spanner in the works.

    • B. 

      Mean I can get more bang for their buck.

    • C. 

      Mean I have to make irrelevant and tedious versions of my film, when I should be moving on to my next, potentially award-winning film.

    • D. 

      Should be courted and seduced - that's why everyone goes to Cannes.

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