Ask about the importance of the card, accept it and tell him how much you love the gift!
Look at the card like hes retarded and laugh about how UN-romantic he is!
Say "Thanks, but my grandpa has a bajillion of those old things in the attic."
Completely agree and give him an early birthday kiss for good luck!
Disagree with the plans hes made and show him the cute little invitations you and his mother have made for his party
Tell him how unfair it is that he doesnt want you around and start an arguement until you win
Say, "this is him", sit and pretend it never happened. quick and painless.
Say, "This is ..., im so happy you guys are finally meeting!"
Say, "hi mom, hi dad. this is ..., im sure you have alot of questions for him so go ahead and get that part over with.."