A Zen attitude of calmness and acceptance
A Zen attitude and a lot of caffeine
All of the above
What are you complaining about? I've seen worse.
What are you complaining about? My office is worse.
Hey, I think I see an empty horizontal surface that’s clear of paper. It’s at least 2 inches square. Plenty of room there.
You poor pathetic slob.
Grab a blowtorch -- you aren't afraid to use it
Sort the papers into stacks, deal with ones that require action on your part, file the others, and leave your desk clear
Sort them into stack, get a cup of tea and return to find the cat has burrowed into and scrambled the stacks, sort them again, but then it’s midnight and in the morning you aren’t quite sure which was the important stack. Besides, it’s time to head to work.
Take the entire pile and hide it in a drawer. Repeat until drawer is full. Buy more furniture as needed.
Look around at your office and weep
Sneer and think about the jetpack they promised you around about the same time
Survey your tidy desk and smile.
A bookcase that opens into a secret passage into a subterranean network of tunnels where you can hide all your extra stuff
A great big leather chair where you can meditate (or is that napping) to achieve the Zen state needed for a full-tilt organizational effort
Cupboards with doors that close so that you can hide those nasty papers
A metal desk that will withstand any flamethrower