How Much Of A Hiptard Are You?

10 Questions | Total Attempts: 32

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How Much Of A Hiptard Are You?

From Leslieville to the 'Burbs, we decipher which area of Toronto you'd end up in based on your Hiptard status.


Questions and Answers
  • 1. 
    Out of the following options, what would you pick as your pet?
    • A. 

      A black lab

    • B. 

      A smaller-than-thou lap dog that will only eat grey poupon biscuits from Rossini's

    • C. 

      Mary Murphy from "So You Think You Can Dance? Canada"

    • D. 

      A pink plastic flamingo to stick on your astroturf carpet

  • 2. 
    If Canada and the States were merged into one nation, who would you nominate for North American domination in the upcoming election?
    • A. 

      I've got a crush on Obama

    • B. 

      I'd re-elect Bush

    • C. 

      I'd re-elect Chretien

    • D. 

      Michel Gondry

  • 3. 
    When you walk into your office and greet your fellow homeys and homettes, you say:
    • A. 

      "Yo! What's up d-awwwgs. I just brought the chill-in from the kill-in..."

    • B. 

      "Hey [enter name]. Wanna try a sip of my banana-fatta-assa?"

    • C. 

      "Can I have my chair back now?"

    • D. 

      You cry. One tear.

  • 4. 
    Pretend you're attracted to both sexes. Your secret heart throb would be:
    • A. 

      Pauly Shore

    • B. 

      Margaret Thatcher

    • C. 

      That kid from the Goonies. "Hey you guys!" gets you every time.

    • D. 

      John Stewart

  • 5. 
    A sweater is:
    • A. 

      Something for Bill Cosby

    • B. 

      Something that I wear with my skinny jeans

    • C. 

      What I send to Operation Christmas Child

    • D. 

      Perfect for the Alps!

  • 6. 
    You're having a dinner party. [Yes, some people do.]You serve:
    • A. 

      Sushi

    • B. 

      Organic tacos

    • C. 

      Guacamole nachos with a surprise musical guest - the entire cast of "Evil Dead: The Musical!"

    • D. 

      Starbucks breakfast sandwiches. Cook? P-shaw.

  • 7. 
    You secretly want to look like:
    • A. 

      Nicole Richie / Pete Wentz

    • B. 

      Ellen Burstyn / A member of Harvard's rowing team

    • C. 

      Marilyn Denis of Cityline / Mark Dailey of Citytv

    • D. 

      Ellen Page / Joaquin Phoenix

  • 8. 
    You want to holiday in:
    • A. 

      Your parent's backyard

    • B. 

      The AGO. [Now that it's been redesigned by Frank Gehry, of course]

    • C. 

      Somewhere where you can bring your bicycle

    • D. 

      Tokyo

  • 9. 
    You got your current job by:
    • A. 

      Getting an Arts degree

    • B. 

      Living in your parents' basement and using the internet to make "friends" and "colleagues"

    • C. 

      Living in your parents' basement and using the internet to get a 3 month unpaid internship

    • D. 

      By spending the summer in Paris

  • 10. 
    Ten years have passed. You regret:
    • A. 

      Exposing all of those "brick walls". The chill has left your bones brittle and arthritic

    • B. 

      Having purple leggings tattooed on your legs. Whoever guessed tights with feet would come back in?

    • C. 

      Wearing skinny jeans. Your wife wanted children.

    • D. 

      Eating at Fran's