How Caligula Are You?
What would I do with a gargantuan amount of power and money? What if I was insane? Does anyone else think a horse would make a better head of state then the one we've got? Are these questions you've asked yourself? We all know that in this day and age, it gets harder and harder to tell what sort of a person you really are. That's why the people at AnthonyZehr Inc. Have created a super great quiz for you so you'll know exactly how much of a crazy, powerful Roman Emperor you have within you! FIND OUT HOW MUCH CALIGULA YOU HAVE LOUNGING AROUND IN YOUR SOUL!
- 1.How much do the common people love your father?
- A.
They're pretty indifferent to him actually..
- B.
They kinda love him.
- C.
Well he's a little smelly.
- D.
Them folks straight up adore my daddyo!!
- 2.If you were to be given a nickname, what would it be from?
- A.
Your love of equestrians.
- B.
Your childhood footwear.
- C.
How much you appreciate your sister.
- D.
Your extraordinary kindness and respect for marital relations.
- 3.Imagine you've just inherited a super high governmental position! How do people on the street celebrate this promotion of yours?
- A.
They throw big street party!
- B.
By calling you adorable pet names! (Chick, babe, nursling etc)
- C.
They interrupt your Uncle's funeral with all sorts of fire and sacrificial offerings!
- D.
Someone would probably buy you a drink. Maybe. If you smelled okay that day.
- 4.When you get sick, do random citizens vow to the gods they will fight as gladiators if only you'll regain your health?
- A.
All the time! I have like, hundreds of gladiators I don't know what to do with now..
- B.
All the time! And boy do I cash in on those vows...
- C.
Uh.. no? Do people actually do that?
- 5.Imagine you've achieved a position that demands respect and servitude. How comfortable are you with your inferiors calling you by the nickname of "Booties"?
- A.
Super duper comfortable! Even though I tower above them in terms of position, I like to keep our relationships friendly!
- B.
Not really comfortable... I might ask them to stop.
- C.
Uncomfortable. I'd prefer they call me by extended and very lengthy full name.
- D.
Rather indifferent. Although I might feed them to some wild beasts, just to remind them I could.
- 6.Hypothetically speaking, would you ever elect your favorite horse to a position of government?
- A.
Yes
- B.
No
- C.
What?
- 7.How fond are you of your sister(s)?
- A.
Mixed feelings. I love them, but I also might sell them off to strange men as well.
- B.
I really don't like them to be honest. I appreciate male siblings much more
- C.
I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really love them. Literally, metaphorically and physically.
- D.
Wait!! Did the answer above say physically?? WHAT?? Ewwwwie!!
- E.
Yeah, I think they're pretty great.
- 8.Have you ever considered seizing all the boats in a bay, tying them end to end, covering the tops with dirt and them parading across them? ( Approximately a distance of 5.3 km)
- A.
Well only if the fortune teller of my dead uncle said it was something I couldn't do.
- B.
Honestly? Yes. Sounds like a party.
- C.
Well.. It seems like a lot of work. Maybe if I could get someone else to do all the seizing for me.
- D.
No. Think of how it would disrupt all of the oceanic traffic and sea trade. There are hard working people out there. They deserve better!
- 9.How sexually attracted to the moon are you?
- A.
Meh. She has a lot of craters.
- B.
The moon is alright I guess. I'd probably choose a more sultry planet like Venus though.
- C.
Hot diggity dog! I'd ask that moon into my bed any night! (And every night. For years on end)
- D.
Not very much at all. I find unreachable celestial bodies made of cold rock and dust to be a bit of a turn off to be honest..
- 10.If you had control over a massive army, what would you send them to do?
- A.
Wage war against the Germans!
- B.
Wage war against poverty!
- C.
Wage war against the ocean! (And collect seashells)
- D.
Wage war against the Gauls!
- 11.If you were to be assasinated, what would it be for?
- A.
For taking someone's spouse, forcibly and without permission.
- B.
Because you're a crazy weirdo!
- C.
Because you made fun of someone for being homosexual one to many times.
- D.
Because you had a tendency towards not being very polite.
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