How Caligula Are You?

11 Questions | By Xanos | Last updated: Mar 17, 2022 | Total Attempts: 109

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What would I do with a gargantuan amount of power and money? What if I was insane? Does anyone else think a horse would make a better head of state then the one we've got? Are these questions you've asked yourself? We all know that in this day and age, it gets harder and harder to tell what sort of a person you really are. That's why the people at AnthonyZehr Inc. Have created a super great quiz for you so you'll know exactly how much of a crazy, powerful Roman Emperor you have within you! FIND OUT HOW MUCH CALIGULA YOU HAVE LOUNGING AROUND IN YOUR SOUL!

You May Get

100% Caligula

Wow. Really? You got 100%? You're pretty messed up, you know that? Sheesh. I mean, look at the things he did! Caligula murdered an uncountable number of people, not for war or because he thought they were "unpure", he just did it for fun. That would almost make him worse then Hitler. Hitler thought he was doing what was right and good for the world. (Obviously, it wasn't, but still) Caligula, just killed these people for entertainment. Or because he thought their robes were attracting too much attention. Or because they didn't answer his questions fast enough. Or because he fancied their wives. Or because- Well you get the idea. Fact of the matter is, Caligula had a mean streak, bigger then the Coliseum, and a very large amount of people met their ends according to his whims, and after taking a personality test, you identified very, very strongly with him. I'd take that as something to be very concerned about. You might want to look into some serious counselling.

50% Caligula

Alright. So you got 50%. Right now you're probably telling yourself, "Hey, I'm not so bad. 50% is nothing!" Well you're wrong. 50% is pretty bad. Thats like saying, hey, at least I'm only 50% like Jack the Ripper. In this case, it means that half of you is a jealous, crazy Roman Emperor. Although, was he really crazy? All surviving records from that time period were all written by Senators, and who did Caligula make a point of pissing off most? The Senators. Right from the start in fact, the Senate would have had reason to dislike Caligula. He was after all, only 23, and had no experience in politics what so ever. Logically, that isn't someone you'd want ruling an empire and its likely the Senate really didn't approve. Here's the thing then, why would a 23 year old, who has pretty much irrefutable power, care in the slightest what a bunch of upperclass, conservative, old folks thought? So then, if you look at most of his so called "crazy" exploits and take into consideration his age, and his dislike of the Senate, you can really place most of them into the "I'm just doing this to screw with the Senate" or the "I'm 23 and have millions of dollars, why shouldn't I do this?" category. On the other hand though, he also led the Roman army into battle against the ocean and had them all collect seashells. Which sounds pretty crazy, so what do I know?

25% Caligula

So you got 25% Caligula did you? Good job I suppose. Its a lot better then most of the options. Still, that's pretty weird. Caligula had some pretty strange things done. He commisioned a giant golden statue of himself to be placed in the middle of a Jewish worship place to be worshiped instead of their God. He also married his sister and then upon her death, had her declared a goddess. He used to cross dress in public and pretend he was a whole horde of gods and goddesses as well. But thankfully you're only 25% Caligula. So I'd guess you only do the whole "Cross dressing in public thing".

0% Caligula

Well thank goodness. You aren't a weirdo in the slightest. Congratulations on that indeed. Consequently though, this means I don't have anything exciting to tell you about here. You ought to take the quiz again and try and get a more exciting ending.

Questions and Answers

1.

How much do the common people love your father?
- A.
  
  They're pretty indifferent to him actually..
- B.
  
  They kinda love him.
- C.
  
  Well he's a little smelly.
- D.
  
  Them folks straight up adore my daddyo!!
2.

If you were to be given a nickname, what would it be from?
- A.
  
  Your love of equestrians.
- B.
  
  Your childhood footwear.
- C.
  
  How much you appreciate your sister.
- D.
  
  Your extraordinary kindness and respect for marital relations.
3.

Imagine you've just inherited a super high governmental position! How do people on the street celebrate this promotion of yours?
- A.
  
  They throw big street party!
- B.
  
  By calling you adorable pet names! (Chick, babe, nursling etc)
- C.
  
  They interrupt your Uncle's funeral with all sorts of fire and sacrificial offerings!
- D.
  
  Someone would probably buy you a drink. Maybe. If you smelled okay that day.
4.

When you get sick, do random citizens vow to the gods they will fight as gladiators if only you'll regain your health?
- A.
  
  All the time! I have like, hundreds of gladiators I don't know what to do with now..
- B.
  
  All the time! And boy do I cash in on those vows...
- C.
  
  Uh.. no? Do people actually do that?
5.

Imagine you've achieved a position that demands respect and servitude. How comfortable are you with your inferiors calling you by the nickname of "Booties"?
- A.
  
  Super duper comfortable! Even though I tower above them in terms of position, I like to keep our relationships friendly!
- B.
  
  Not really comfortable... I might ask them to stop.
- C.
  
  Uncomfortable. I'd prefer they call me by extended and very lengthy full name.
- D.
  
  Rather indifferent. Although I might feed them to some wild beasts, just to remind them I could.
6.

Hypothetically speaking, would you ever elect your favorite horse to a position of government?
- A.
  
  Yes
- B.
  
  No
- C.
  
  What?
7.

How fond are you of your sister(s)?
- A.
  
  Mixed feelings. I love them, but I also might sell them off to strange men as well.
- B.
  
  I really don't like them to be honest. I appreciate male siblings much more
- C.
  
  I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really love them. Literally, metaphorically and physically.
- D.
  
  Wait!! Did the answer above say physically?? WHAT?? Ewwwwie!!
- E.
  
  Yeah, I think they're pretty great.
8.

Have you ever considered seizing all the boats in a bay, tying them end to end, covering the tops with dirt and them parading across them? ( Approximately a distance of 5.3 km)
- A.
  
  Well only if the fortune teller of my dead uncle said it was something I couldn't do.
- B.
  
  Honestly? Yes. Sounds like a party.
- C.
  
  Well.. It seems like a lot of work. Maybe if I could get someone else to do all the seizing for me.
- D.
  
  No. Think of how it would disrupt all of the oceanic traffic and sea trade. There are hard working people out there. They deserve better!
9.

How sexually attracted to the moon are you?
- A.
  
  Meh. She has a lot of craters.
- B.
  
  The moon is alright I guess. I'd probably choose a more sultry planet like Venus though.
- C.
  
  Hot diggity dog! I'd ask that moon into my bed any night! (And every night. For years on end)
- D.
  
  Not very much at all. I find unreachable celestial bodies made of cold rock and dust to be a bit of a turn off to be honest..
10.

If you had control over a massive army, what would you send them to do?
- A.
  
  Wage war against the Germans!
- B.
  
  Wage war against poverty!
- C.
  
  Wage war against the ocean! (And collect seashells)
- D.
  
  Wage war against the Gauls!
11.

If you were to be assasinated, what would it be for?
- A.
  
  For taking someone's spouse, forcibly and without permission.
- B.
  
  Because you're a crazy weirdo!
- C.
  
  Because you made fun of someone for being homosexual one to many times.
- D.
  
  Because you had a tendency towards not being very polite.