Personally Protected Information
Partially Protected Information
Protected Personal Information
Partially Personal Information
Pointless Porcupine Incision
Social security number
Mother's maiden name
Weight at birth
Tire rotation schedule
Religion, race or national origin
Exam working papers
Trade secrets and underwriting rules
Keep detailed phone records of each telephone call you receive from salespeople who somehow have your work number
Brush and floss after each meal or snack
Do NOT distribute or release personal information to other employees unless they have an official need-to-know
Destroy records as soon as you feel they are no longer useful
Leave at least 1/8 of a tank of gas in CSI vehicles after you travel in them
Health Insurance Privacy and Activity
Homeowner's Insurance Provider Activity Authority
Healthy Individual Policies and Alliances
Hearty Individuals Potluck Appetizers Association
Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act
Erodes confidence in the governments ability to protect information
Can cause embarrasment and emotional distress
Can lead to identity theft
Can result in legal actions against the employee or the government
May cause your local Farmer's Market to limit huckleberry purchases
Stay up most nights worrying about confidential information
Develop a secret handshake within your unit that will allow you to identify coworkers that can be trusted with confidential information
Duct tape coworkers mouths and ears if confidential information is present
Do not release confidential information to other employees unless they have a need-to-know
Take photos of coworkers who look suspicious
Telephone, telegraph or telefriend
Paper, oral communication or electronic means
Internet, Extranet, New York Nets
Email, snail mail and stone tablets
Interoffice memos and deadhead mail
Underwriting rules and trade secrets
Working papers from market conduct exams
Working papers from financial exams
Washington Redskins press releases
A preliminary draft
Telephone messaging slip
Email sent or received in the transaction of business
Have everyone who receives the same email print a hard copy and file it in their personal file cabinet
Forward copies of each email to your supervisor
Designate a record keeper for certain types of emails that multiple members of your work group receive
Automatically delete any email as soon as you have read it
Get a much larger email mailbox
With a great deal of skepticism.
The same way you would treat your dog.
To an ice cream cone at the "Big Dipper."
Like any other (public) record, generated or received during the course of (government) business.
Like an ancient artifact now that text messages and tweets have replaced email as a communication tool.
All of the office door and external building locks must be changed.
A huge party will be held at Barb van der Mars' house.
Their email will be completely dumped from the system, with no review involved.
They will receive the "Bat Car" as a lovely parting gift.
Their email will be retained by the agency, just like any other public record.