Are you a Michael, Brendan, Jonah, or Derek?
You May Get
Free weights! They're the black coffee of the gym.
Kettle bells. I'm going for that Tim Ferris 4-hour body!
I'm gonna sweat out these toxins in the sauna.
Stationary bike all the way.
Gin and Tonic
Mimosas! (with or without doses)
A Lagunita's Brown Sugga Ale! I'm after that ABV.
Something from Short's!
Henry David Thoreau
Chipotle Peppers in Adobo Sauce
Ask her out on Instagram and then don't show up to the first date because you forgot you had something.
Date her for a few months to a year. If her parents own a taco bell, get some free tacos maybe.
Be super ambiguous about it forever and cause a lot of stress but eventually learn something new about yourself in the process.
Idk ball's in her court
"The weather cold... the weather so... chill chilly willy penguin feather roll..." -Mura Masa (feat. ASAP Rocky)
"George W Bush right on her pussy..." -Ski Mask the Slump God
"ME? I fought with him! ME?! I died for him!! ME??! I loved him!!! And ME??!! I'm the DAMN FOOL that SHOT HIM!!!!" -The Cast of Hamilton
"I like big boys, itty bitty boys // Mississippi boys, inner city boys // I like the pretty boys with the bow tie // Get your nails did, let it blow dry // I like a big beard, I like a clean face // I don't discriminate, come and get a taste // From the playboys to the gay boys" -Lizzo
Passive Solar Greenhouse Farmer
Capitalism is destroying our planet and ruining our lives.
The Keto diet works.
The self is an illusion.
Harry Truman sucks!
Electric Guitar--no wait--didgeridoo!
Cabin in the woods
A sustainable as fuck crib
A snowy chalet