How Field Are You?
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- 1.You're in a large crowd of complete strangers, and off in the distance you can vaguely hear a song that you know. What do you do?
- A.
Pour your heart and soul into a loud, passionate vocal cover
- B.
Sing or hum along at a reasonable volume
- C.
Remain quiet and go about your business
- 2.Did you build a tank?
- A.
Yes
- B.
No
- C.
What?
- 3.Do you respect gays?
- A.
Fuck no
- B.
Fuck yes
- C.
Are we counting lesbians?
- 4.Do dikes shower?
- A.
No, duh!
- B.
Yes, duh!
- C.
Only the girly ones, duh!
- 5.Dikes are lesbians
- A.
True
- B.
False
- 6.You're walking down the street, and you see a baby snake. What do you do?
- A.
Kill it!
- B.
Leave it be, nature is beautiful
- C.
Attempt to kill it, fail
- 7.You're taking a piss in the woods, and you happen to notice an active hornets nest. What do you do?
- A.
Hit it with your hat
- B.
Piss on it
- C.
Run the fuck away
- 8.Do you know any Sinatra?
- A.
A little
- B.
What's a Sinatra?
- C.
I know all the Sinatra
- 9.You're in an asbestos-filled, fire-ravaged, decrepit factory that has been condemned for demolition. You take a shit. What do you wipe with?
- A.
Your hand
- B.
Wallpaper
- C.
Your shirt
- 10.A moderately attractive woman gives you a funny look. What do you do?
- A.
Fuck her
- B.
Punch her
- C.
All of the above
- 11.Is this question true or false?
- A.
True
- B.
False
- 12.Right or left?
- A.
Left
- B.
Right
- 13.You're in the woods, trespassing on private property, when you realize you have to shit. What do you wipe with?
- A.
Poison Ivy
- B.
Leaves
- C.
The No-Trespassing Sign
- 14.You see a girl. You--
- A.
Fuck Her
- B.
Punch Her
- C.
All of the above
- 15.One of your friends is wounded, and you're miles from civilization. What do you do?
- A.
Carry them to a hospital on your back
- B.
Build a gurney
- C.
Eat Them
- 16.You see a sign. Why did you steal it?
- A.
Because I could
- B.
Because I wanted to
- C.
What do you mean "why?"
- 17.
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What is this called?- A.
What's that?
- B.
A "Christmas Tree Smell Good"
- C.
An air freshener
- 18.Your brand new Mustang breaks down. What do you do?
- A.
Burn it
- B.
Sell it
- C.
Fix it
- 19.What % dike are you?
- A.
100%
- B.
50%
- C.
0%
- 20.Do you know how to watlz?
- A.
Yes
- B.
No
- C.
I don't dance
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