Self-Regulation refers to a person's capacity to stay calm, recognize that they are losing their cool before it's too late, and regain their composure even under pressure. When stress causes our emotional temperature to rise, we're unable to problem-solve and we tend to react rather than respond. Psychologists refer to this process as "flooding" and it causes a spouse to be rigid and reactive under pressure (Seigel, 2013; Manes, 2013). But, if you can learn keep your Solution-Friendly Brain turned on, even in conflict, you can stay in control of the discussion even if your partner loses control of him or herself.
How important is developing this skill to your marriage?