Which Snake Oil Merchant Are You?

9 Questions | By Snakeoil | Updated: Mar 21, 2022 | Attempts: 38

How much Oil would a Merchant Snake, If a Merchant could Snake Oil?

Questions and Answers

1.

Choose a catch phrase
- A.
  
  A good gag is never a bad gag.
- B.
  
  You lucky, lucky bitch!
- C.
  
  How long has -(insert item)- been broken for?
- D.
  
  *Rolls eyes, pulls awkward face, loosens collar*
- E.
  
  Frickin' Shit Yeah!
- F.
  
  Haha!
- G.
  
  No one thinks you're funny or clever.
2.

Choose a drink & a snack.
- A.
  
  Coffee and Cherry Pie.
- B.
  
  Milk & something from the bakery.
- C.
  
  Beer, Dumplings & Fortune Cookies.
- D.
  
  Secret Chips and a 'Pink & Tasty' (Tooheys Old & a dash of raspberry).
- E.
  
  Any drink will do & dope cookies.
- F.
  
  Jameson on the rocks & a Burrito
- G.
  
  Gin & Soda and Tacos.
3.

Favourite thing to do after a gig...
- A.
  
  Collect & count money.
- B.
  
  Watch 'Seinfeld' and eat chips.
- C.
  
  Climb tall buildings.
- D.
  
  Get trashy & have a good time.
- E.
  
  Visit relatives that no one has ever heard of.
- F.
  
  Aggressive flirting. (May include actual wrestling).
- G.
  
  Bust out dance moves no one knew you had.
4.

When not on tour, what is your favourite passtime?
- A.
  
  Riding my bicycle around the world.
- B.
  
  Plucking chickens & plucking the banjo.
- C.
  
  Collecting obscure quotes, facts & artefacts.
- D.
  
  Watching 'Seinfeld' with my family.
- E.
  
  Getting trashy & having a good time.
- F.
  
  Booking the next tour.
- G.
  
  Science and the environment and stuff.
5.

How do you travel?
- A.
  
  In the drivers seat of Bambino, a.k.a 'the Juju van'.
- B.
  
  In the driver's seat of Le Plum a.ka. 'The Juju limo'.
- C.
  
  In the back seat of the van.
- D.
  
  On the engine with my bag of quotes.
- E.
  
  Next to my buddy Turk.
- F.
  
  Shotgun.
- G.
  
  I fly, right after a quick ciggie on the tarmac.
6.

Who would play you in the film?
- A.
  
  Jack Black
- B.
  
  Keifer Sutherland
- C.
  
  Danny Devito
- D.
  
  Alicia Silverstone
- E.
  
  Lou Diamond Phillips
- F.
  
  Lionel Ritchie
- G.
  
  Steve Buscemi
7.

A question you've been asked?
- A.
  
  Oh, were you in the band? Which one were you?
- B.
  
  Are you Augie March?
- C.
  
  Are you my son?
8.

People confuse you for or tell you you look like...
- A.
  
  Mojo's brother
- B.
  
  Saw the Saw
- C.
  
  A man
- D.
  
  I once mistook MYSELF for a Snake.
9.

Signature thing you do...
- A.
  
  Make video diaries of everything
- B.
  
  Soul destroyer
- C.
  
  Stage dive into the drum kit
- D.
  
  Get drunk & fall off stage... or at least threaten to.
- E.
  
  Play it cool
- F.
  
  Your teeth come out of your head when you sing
- G.
  
  As many trips to the bar as possible during the show

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Current Version
Mar 21, 2022

Quiz Edited by
ProProfs Editorial Team
Mar 09, 2014

Quiz Created by
Snakeoil

Which Snake Oil Merchant Are You?

Choose a catch phrase

Choose a drink & a snack.

Favourite thing to do after a gig...

When not on tour, what is your favourite passtime?

How do you travel?

Who would play you in the film?

A question you've been asked?

People confuse you for or tell you you look like...

Signature thing you do...