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Divorce Questions and Answers (Q&A)

Does your wife have a diagnosis from a consultant psychiatrist of narcissistic personality? Otherwise this sounds like an abusive term you are using to demean her. What personality description does she use for you?

If it is equally unpleasant, then it certainly sounds as if there is not enough love between you to sustain the marriage any further. Perhaps consider why you married your wife, what her positive attributes were (besides looks) and what she has contributed to the marriage emotionally and practically.

Then consider what you have contributed to her as a person. There seems little point in prolonging a marital relationship that has no love or respect in it. The decision about divorce must be mutual, of course.

If it is impossible to hold a rational and civilised discussion about separation with your wife, then use professional services and move forward.

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Only you can truly say a divorce is best for you after finding out your spouse cheated on you with your best friend, no one else can make the decision for you. I know you feel betrayed because two of the most important people in your life have done the unthinkable.


If your desire is to save your marriage, I urge you to do so. Do not let your emotions determine what happens to your marriage.

But if you have made up your mind that a divorce is what you need, you will fare better during the process if you do not allow your emotions to guide your decisions.

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You are divorced now; the state has sent you documents proving you are now a free man or woman. There is no perfect amount of time that you must avoid dating. Some people are able to handle dating few months after a divorce while it takes many other years to be ready.


Experts suggest that you wait for about a year before you date someone. It takes 365 days of being single, going through important days like your birthday, holidays and everything else on your own before you can truly fall back to loving yourself.

Do not rush into dating; don’t use it as a distraction for your loneliness, boredom or insecurities. This will only cause more problems for you and the person you are bringing into the relationship.

So take some time to heal, love yourself again, treat yourself well and be sure you are ready to date someone before you do.

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I wonder if by 'unite' you mean sexual intercourse or taking his part in some argument or dispute? Any adult in most western countries is free to engage in sexual activity with another consenting adult irrespective of whether either or both have commitments elsewhere, or whether anyone might be hurt by such encounter.


If you have sexual relations beofre the divorce comes through, then it surely ridicules the idea that the relationship (marriage) is over. If the divorce is already finalised, further sexually tinged incidents suggest that the relationship is ongoing, however unsatisfactorily.

If you mean unite, form a mutually cooperative agreement to defend or attack some issue, then there is nothing stopping you. However, this all sounds uncomfortably like unresolved business, a messy situation that you need to clarify. Are you divorced, or not?

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Divorce is not legal under the Family Code of the Philippines in the constitution. It is the only country in the world that does not allow divorce. The Philippine Constitution offers legal separation and annulment as alternatives to divorce.


Legal separation is only granted if physical abuse, drug abuse or alcoholism become marital issues. Legal separation can only end marital duties but the couple is still married in the eye of the law.

Filipinos who divorce in other countries but are legal residents of Philippines are still considered married under Philippine law.

However, Muslim Filipinos can obtain divorce in certain circumstances according to their religion. Where a non – Filipino is married to a Filipino citizen and a divorce is obtained abroad, the Filipino spouse can remarry under the Philippine law.

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The time after divorce is always a difficult period. Like many others, you may experience a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days you would be grateful for the divorce and other days, you would feel down and confused.


At this time there are many things you need to pay attention to. You need to focus on yourself as an individual, spend time to decide on what you need to do to let go of the past, and look forward to the new future ahead of you. It is an important step towards letting go.

On days you don’t feel like you should have ended the marriage, focus on what the relationship was lacking and why you had to end it. Do not beat yourself up for what happened. Remember, life continues, start by focusing on yourself, and be hopeful for a better future and a more fulfilled life after divorce.

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The most common things that can lead to divorce include:
Infidelity: having extra marital affairs has been ranked as one of the most common things to cause divorce. It severely damages marriages; it creates feelings of betrayal for the other partner, the depth of the betrayal and emotional pain often leads to divorce after infidelity.


Money: having different financial goals and spending habits affect marriages. If one partner is earning much more than the other, it can lead to power struggle which can strain a marriage to a point of breaking.

Poor communication: communication is the bed rock of every relationship, a marriage with poor communication will quickly lead to resentment and frustration for both partners, impacting all aspect of a marriage.

Other things that often lead to divorce are; having unrealistic expectations, lack of intimacy, abuse, not being prepared for marriage and frequent arguments.

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Yes, extramarital affairs lead to divorce. In fact, it is one of the most common reasons for divorce. Infidelity severely damages marriages; it creates feelings of betrayal for the other partner.


Unfortunately, infidelity is one of the most common problems most marriages face. It is widely reported that 60% of men and 40% of women will participate in an extramarital affair at some point during their married life.

However, not all of them go through divorce. It’s the depth of the betrayal and emotional pain that often leads to divorce after infidelity.

If one partner has been unfaithful, the trust between the couple is destroyed and this affects every area of the settlement negotiations, investigations and the court proceedings.

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Divorce is a huge, life altering change, you need to be sure if divorce is really the next step for you. Our emotions are powerful and they can be tricky.


As much as you can be swept away by love you can also be swept away by anger and resentment. Going through a divorce affects the lives of your children as well as your lifestyle, economics and martial investment.

Ask yourself these questions: why are you considering divorce? Are you really ready for divorce? Are you ready to handle the unpleasant consequences of divorce? At the end of it all, be sure that your decision is not emotionally based or driven by your ego.

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In most cases, divorce is not the ultimate solution to marital problems because the problems after the divorce do not disappear. In fact, there is a good chance that the divorce will create bigger problems.


Divorce tears a family apart and this affects the children and other members of the family hence, the future of the society is also affected.

If you are not happy with your marriage and you think divorce is the ultimate solution to make you happier, you should think about it again. The truth is most divorced couples take their marriage problems with them into other relationships.

There are more amicably ways of sorting differences in every troubled marriage, rather than resorting to divorce. Divorce should be considered as the ultimate solution when it becomes unavoidable and the only solution.

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