LOVE IN THE TIME OF GOETTA

1.    
You are in your 20s. You and your sweetheart:
2.    
You are in your 30s. You and your sweetheart:
3.    
You are in your 40s. You and your sweetheart:
4.    
You are in your 20s and you’re tying the knot at a “destination wedding.” Your family and friends must journey to:
5.    
You are in your 40s, and after a regrettable first marriage, you are now wedding someone who speaks the dialect of your hugely relieved family. Who stands with you at the altar?
6.    
You are in your 60s and finally marrying your high school crush thanks to the power of Facebook. Six children, their spouses, their children, their children’s spouses, and your mother’s feeble brother the Monsignor will join you as you tie the knot in:
7.    
You and your sweetheart are dead. Your remains are: