Congressman Smith is a heavy drinker and a womanizer so we can disregard what he says about the consequences of the governments fiscal policy.
Fairness requires that we dockworkers get much higher pay. After all, if we strike, we can close this port down until half the city goes bankrupt.
Please, Mr. Dean, dont think that I set fire to the dormitory. My old mother has been saving for years to send me to college. It would kill her if you decided that I was the one who did it.
You're quite mistaken when you call me dishonest. I did falsify my income tas but that's nothing. You yourself like sometimes too.
There are people who, just by touching with their fingertips, can detect colors they can't see with their eyes. It's true because my hairdresser told me about it.
Playing the radio too loud is bad for hearing. If you don't believe me, you'll be grounded for a week.
Of course I haven't been dealing in narcotics. How could you believe that of me when you know that I'm a person who has had a very hard life and suffered much?
I deserve a better grade on this test, professor, because getting low grades makes me fee aweful. I can't stand it.
Senator Gray says too much is being spent on national defense. He must be one of those cowardly pacifists who wants the Red Chinese to take over the world.
A larger allowance? Surely you realize that money doesnt bring happiness. So if I increased your allowance it would only increase your unhappiness.
You didn't come out to join our march against repression. Then you must support repression.
Anyone who works for this company can understand an English sentence. The instructions for operation of this computer are just English sentences. So anyone who works for this company can understand the instructions for operation of this computer.
Amphetamines are perfectly safe for diet control. My friend Liz told me so and she really knows alll about good health.
Christians, to arms! The enemy is at the gate. Buckle on the armor of the Christian and go forth to battle. With education, evangelism, and dedication let us smite the Communist foe and if necessary give up our lives in this noble Cause! Coexistence is impossible. Communism is total evil. Its methods are evil and its ends are evil. We must hurl this thing back to the pit from whence it came!
You don't see anyone marching around in protest, do you? No demonstrations. No torchlight parades. That means the actions of this administration are all acceptable, for nobody has any grievances.
My uncle Noodles Romanoff, who is now in prison, used to preach to us kids about self-control, but I can't see any value in his ideas if he cannot live up to them himself.
John: Nice shirt.Jim: Yeah. Everybody's wearing this type now
Three of those Italian kids got caught stealing. I told you the whole Italian crowd is trouble.
Freshman don't know much about physics. So John, whose mother is a physicist, probably doesnt doesnt know much either.
As a major league baseball pitcher, I always chew my tobacco on the left side of my mouth. When I chewed it on the right side, I lost every game I pitched.
Professor Glazebrook's theory about the origin of the Martian craters is undoubtely true. Rudolf Orkin, the great concert pianist, announced his support of the theory in this morning's newspaper.
Whoever thrusts a knife into another person should be arrested. But surgeons do precisely this when operating. Therefore, surgeons should be arrested.
There are more churches in New York City than in any other city in the nation, and more crimes are commited in New York City than anyowhere else. So, if we are to eliminate crime, we must abolish the churches.
Susanna's dentist advised her to have extensive work dont on her teeth. She should not take this advice seriously, however, because if she has this work done, the dentist will recieve an excellent fee.
It is financially advisable for you to join our protective organization. Think of the money you will lose in brokwn windows, overturned trucks, and damaged merchandise in th event of your not joining.
The story runs that when the Moscow underground was first opened to visitors in the 1930's, an American tourist was invited to inspect one of the stations. He was shown the self-registering turnstiles and spotless washrooms. "Fine," he said; then, looking down the tracks, "How about the trains?" They showed him the safty devices and the excellent frescos on the tunnal walls. He was again impressed, but continued to look anxiously down the tracks and said "How about the trains?" His guided snapped, "How about the trains? How about the sharecroppers in Alabama"
Most of the graduates of Heathcliff College command excellent salaries upon graduation. Mary Edwards was in the top 10 percent of this year's graduating class at Heathcliff. In addition she is ambitious, talented, charming, and self-confident. Mary can probably look foward to a jo that pays an excellent salary.
No one has been able to prove the existence of extrasensory perception. We must therefore conclude that extrasensory perception is a myth.
Beer ad featuring the "Swedish Bikini Team."
You should read George Bishop's latest novel right away. It's sold over a million copies, and practically everyone in the Manhattan cocktail circuit is talking about it.
The Daily News carried an article this morning about three local teenagers who were arrested on charges of drug possession. Teenagers these days are nothing but a bunch of junkies
A few minutes after Senator Harrison finished his speech on television, a devastating earthquake struck southern Alaska. For the safty of the people up there it is imperative that Senator Harrison keep his mouth shut.
Friedrich Nietzsche's philosophy is not worth the paper it's printed on. Nietzsche was an immoral reprobate who went completly insane from syphilis before he died.
The Noble prize-winning biologist Herbert Ralls has stated that chlorinated hydrocarbons in our water supply constitue a major threat to public health. We concluded that the presence of these chemicals is indeed a threat and that the issue should be investigated thoroughly.
What the farmer sows in the spring he reaps in the fall. In the spring he sows $8-per-bushel soybeans. Therefore, in the fall he will reap $8-per-bushal soybeans.
I know that some of you oppose the appointment of David Cole as the new sales manager. Upon further consideration, however, I am confident you will change your minds. If Cole is not appointed, it may become necessary to make severe personnel cutbacks in your department
You editors of the Daily Register have accused our company of being one of the city's worst water polluters. But your paper is responsible for much more pollution than we are. You own the Wesern Paper Company and Western Paper discharges tons of chemical residue into the city's river every day.
Surely you will not hold architect Norris responsible for the collapse of the building. Norris has had nothing but trouble lately. His daughter eloped with a junkie, his son commited suicide, and his alcoholic wife recently left for Las Vegas with his retirement savings.
No life exists on Venus. Teams of scientists have conducted exhaustive studies of the planet's surface and atmosphere, and no living organisms have been found.
Jeffery Noland's History of the American Civil War cannot be trusted. As an historian from Alabama, Noland could not possibly present an accurate account.
Governor Turner is prejudiced against Catholics. During his first weeek in office, he appointed three people to important commissions, and all three were Protestants.
Mr. Rhodes is currently suffering from amnesia and has no recollection whatever of the events of the past two weeks. We can only conclude that he did not commit the crime of murdering his wife, as he has been accused of doing.
Professor Pearson's arguments in favor of a new English curriculum should be discounted. Pearson is a cocaine-snorting sex pervert.
Of course you want to buy a pair of Slinky jeans. Slinky jeans really show off you figure, and all the Hollywood starlets down the Strip can be seen wearing them these days.
Uncle Homer says he has lived to celebrate his ninetieth birthday because all his life he ate garlic clove and downed a shot of whiskey every day.
To a friend: My father says it's antisocial of me to do all this shoplifting. Well, that criticism is pretty ridiculous--for I happen to know that he himself often pads his expense account.
The universe was created in six days. No matter how hard you tyr, you cannot absolutely prove that wrong. So I will continue to believe it is true.
President Kennedy died in office becaused, in this century, every man who was elected to the presidency in a year with a number which ended in zero has died while he was in office.
Mr. Ball's argument is exactly what one can expect from a racist like him!
They just don't care about traffic law enforcement in this town, for they let ambulances go at any speed they like, and then them run red lights too.
Mr. Mayor, we firemen deserve a healthy pay hike now. You say that we're already better paid than the policemen, but that's not relevant. The point is that you'll face a tough strike if you don't see things our way.
American critics of Serbia's policy have no basis for their criticisms. Look at the way you American's treated the Indians
Take out a subscription to the Investigator, the nation's leading newsweekly, and be as well informed as your neighbors!
The mayor's decision to press ahead with the road bill was a wise one. Seldom has any man held that office under such difficult conditions, what with all that opposition in the city council, and the press kicking up so much fuss about a few isolated cases of corruption in the police department.
Well, I know a woman who wore a mink coat to collect her social security benefits. I tell you we must stop handing out money. We must do away with social security.
The business executives who say the workers' wishes for unemployment insurance and old age pensions are degenerate wishes are the same ones who would never have taken their present jobs if they were subject to arbitrary discharge or if they were not given adequate pension arrangements. We can easily see that their views ahave no substance to them.
On the Senate floor in 1950, Joe McCarthy announced that he had penetrated "Truman's iron curtain of secrecy." He has eighty-one case histories of persons whom he considered to be Communists in the State Department. Of Case 40, he said, "I do not have much information on this except the general statement of the agency that there is nothing in the files to disprove his Communist connections."
According to R. Grunberger, author of A Social History of the Third Reich, published in Britian, the Nazis used to send the following notice to German readers, who let their subscriptions lapse: "Our paper certainly deserves the support of every German. We shall continue to forward copies of it to you, and hope that you will not want to expose yourself to unfortunate consequences in the case of cancellation."
When we had got to this point in the argument, and everyone saw that the definition of justice had been clearly upset, Thrasymachus, instead of replying to me, said: "Tell me, Socrates, have you got a nurse?" "Why do you ask such a question," I said, "when you ought rather to be answering?""Because she leaves you in a snivel, and never wipes your nose; she has not even taught you to know the shepherd from the sheep."
When Rodger Babson, whose prediction of the great stock market crash brought him renown, became ill with tuberculosis, he returned to his home in Massachusetts rather than follow his doctor's advice to remain in the West. During the freezing winter he left the windows open, wore a coat with a heating pad in back, and has his secretary wear mittens and hit typewriter keys with rubber hammers. Babson got well and attributed his cure to fresh air. Air from pine woods, according to Babson, has chemical or electrical qualities (or both) of great medicinal value.
George said that he was interviewing for a job drilling oil wells in the supervisor's office. I conclude that the supervisor must have an awfully messy office.
All humans are mortal. Therefore, some day humans will disappear from the earth.
Are you still drinking excessively?
Picasso is the greatest artist of the twentieth century. We know this is so because certain art critics have described him in these terms. These art critics are correct in their assessment because they have a more keenly developed sense of appreciation than the average critic. This is true because it takes a more keenly developed sense of appreciation to realize that Picasso is the best artist of the twentieth century.
Rhurbard pie is a dessert. Therefore, whoever eats rhubard pie eats a dessert.
If Thomas gives Marie a ring, then Thomas and Marie will be engaged. Thomas did give Marie a ring. In fact, he phoned her just the other night. Therefore, Thomas and Marie are engaged.
Either we commit ourselves to massive increases in defense spending or we will fall behind the Soviets in the arms race. We certainly can't afford to fall behind the Soviets. Therefore, we must commit ourselves to massive increases in definence spending.
Spain is 99 percent Catholic. Alfonso Rodriguez is a Spaniard. Therefore, Alfonso Rodriquez is 99 percent Catholic.
Each and every cell in this carrot is 90 percent water. Therefore, the entire carrot is 90 percent water.
A salesman is a human being. Therefore, a good salesman is a good human being.
Every sentence in this paragraph is well written. Therefore, the paragraph is well written.
Good steaks are rare these days, so don't order yours well done.
Waer will quench one's thirst. Water is composed of hydrogen and oxygen. Theforefore, hydrogen and oxygen will quench one's thirst.
Arguing to a friend: Hydrogen is combustable, therefore it burns.
Why did you lie on the witness stand?
Either you marry me right now or I'll be forced to leave you and never speak to you again. I'm sure you wouldn't want me to leave you and never speak to you again. Therefore, you'll marry me right now.
The author warns against numerous computational errors in her accounting text. Therefore, she must have written it very carelessly.
Molecules are in constant random motion. The Statue of Liberty is composed of molecues. Therefore, the Statue of Libery is in constant random motion.
Central city is north of Springtown, and Springtown is north of Greenville. Therefore, Central City is north of Greenville.
Philosophers are highly intelligent individuals because if they weren't highly intelligent they wouldn't be philosophers.
A crust of bread is better than nothing. Nothing is better than true love. Therefore, a crust of bread is better than true love.
How long have you been dealing in drugs?
The travel brochure states that walking up O'Connell Street, the Statue of Parnell comes into view. Apparently that statue has no trouble getting around.
California condors are practically extinct. The bird is a California condor. Therefore, this particular bird is practically extinct.
What goes up must come down. The price of gold has been going up for months. Therefore, it will surely come down soon.
A physician in one of Moliere's plays accounts for the sleep-giving power of opium by saying that the drug possesses a "dormative virtue"
On Monday I drank ten rum and Cokes, and the next day I woke up with a headache. On Wednesday I drank eight gin and Cokes, and the next morning I woke up with a headache. On Friday I drank nine bourbon and Cokes, and the next morning I woke up with a headache. Obviously, to prevent further headaches I must give up Coke.
Senator Bradshaw's arguments in favor of legislation to create jobs for the poor should be ignored. Bradshaw is a hypocrite who supports this kind of legislation only to get his name in the newspapers.
Liquor ad depicting Tom Cruise with a bottle of champagne.
Every member of the Delta Club is over 70 years old. Therefore, the Delta Club is over 70 years old.
The Book of Mormon is true because it was written by Joseph Smith. Joseph Smith wrote the truth because he was divinely inspired. We know that Joseph Smith was divinely inspired because the Book of Mormon says that he was and the Book of Mormon is true
As a businessman you certainly want a subscription to Forbes Magazine. Virtually all the successful business executives in the country subscribe to it.
Each and every brick in the brick-faced building has a reddish-brown color. Therefore, the building has a reddish-brown color.
Johnny, I know you'll lend me your bicycle for the afternoon. After all, I'm sure you wouldn't want your mother to find out that you played hooky today.
White sheep eat more than black sheep (because there are more of them). Therefore, this white sheep eats more than that black sheep.
On our very first date, George had his hands all over me, and I found it nearly impossible to keep him in his place. A week ago Tom gave me that stupid line about how, in order to prove my love, I had to spend the night with him. Men are all alike. All any of them want is sex.
One should not pay too much attention to Clark's arguments against the draft. As a conscientious objector he would be expected to argue that way.
Extensive laboratory tests failed to reveal any negative side affects of the new pain killer, lexaprine. We conclude that lexaprine is safe for human consumption.
It is ridiculous to hear you, a native Peruvian, complaining about America's poverty. Peru has twice as much poverty as America ever had.
Either the government solicits oil leases in federally protected wilderness areas or our country will remain subject to the whims of the Arab oil cartel. Certainly we don't want to remain subject to the whims of the Arab oil cartel. Therefore, the government must solicit oil leases in federally protected wilderness areas.
Evangelist Oral Roberts says that he spoke directly with Jesus for seven hours, that Jesus charged him with finding a cure for cancer, and that he requested that each of Robert's followers send $240 to complete the Tower of Faith reasearch center in Tulsa. In view of this evidence, we must conclude that Jesus really does want these contributions to be sent.
Freedom of speech is guaranteed by the First Amendment. Therefore, your friend was acting within his rights when he shouted "Fire! Fire!" in that crowded theater, even though it was only a joke.
You should eat Wheaties. Wheaties is the Breakfast of Champions, you know.
Mr. Prime Minister, I am certain you will want to release the members of our National Liberation Group whom you currently hold in prision. After all, I'm sure you will wnat to avoid having car bombs go off in centers of you most heavily populated cities.
Johnson is employed by the General Services Administration, and everyone knows that the GSA is the most inefficient branch of the government. Therefore, Johnson must be an inefficient workers
According to Ernst Boyer, former commissioner of education and author of a study done for the Carnegie Foundation entitled "High School," American high schools need reform. Specifically, Boyer recommends that the curriculum be redesigned to stress basic literacy and that individual student needs be assessed before a student enters high school. In view of Boyer's credentials, we may conclude that these recommendations should be taken very seriously.
Mr. Wilson said that on July 4 he went out on the veranda and watched the fireworks go up in his pajamas. We conclude that Mr. Wilson must have had an exciting evening.
During the time that General Grant was winning battles in the West, President Lincoln received numerous complaints about Grant's being a drunkard. When a delegation told him that Grant was hopelessly addicted to whiskey, Lincoln is reported to have replied, "I wish General Grant would send a barrel of his whiskey to each of my other generals."
There must be something to psychical research. Three famous physicists, Oliver Lodge, James Jeans, and Arthur Stanley Eddington, took it seriously.
Professor Andrews, surely you can find it in your heart to give me a "B" in logic. I know i deserve an "F" but if you give me that, I will lose my scholarship. That will force me to drop out of school, and my poor, aged parents, who yearn to seeme graduate, will be grief-stricken for the rest of their lives.
Judge Adams is going soft on dope peddlers. The other day he gave a suspened sentence to a 15-year-old girl after he heard that the girl's father had forced her to sell marijuana.
Either you support nuclear disarmament or you advocate nuclear war. Since no sane person advocates for nuclear war, you will want to support disarmament.
No one has proved conclusively that nuclear power plants constitute a danger for people living in the vicinity. Therefore, it is perfectly safe to continue to build nuclear power plants near larger metropolitan areas.
Emeralds are seldom found in this country, so you should be careful not to misplace your emerald ring.
The students attending this university come form every one of the fifty states. George attends this university. Therefore, George comes from every one of the fifty states
Mr. Flemming's arguments against the rent control initiative on the September ballot should be taken with a grain of salt. As a landlord he would naturally be expected to oppose the initiative.
The twenty-story apartment building is constructed of concrete blocks. Each and every concrete block in the structure can withstand an earthquake of 9.5 on the Richter scale. Therefore, the building can withstand an earthquake of 9.5 on the Richter scale.
We know that induction will provided dependable results in the future because it has always worked in the past. Whatever has consistently worked in the past will continue to work in the future, and we know that is true because it has been established by induction.
Motives and desires exert forces on people, causing them to choose one thing over another. But force is a physical quantity, governed by the laws of physics. Therefore, human choices are governed by the law of physics.
Rome has a rotten climate. i was there fo two days last year and it rained the whole time
Week is a very enjoyable magazine. Shall I put you down for a year's subscription or do you prefer the special three-year offer?
Our congressional representatives from this state must have done a fine job this past year, for this session of Congress has accomplished a great deal.
Your argument is sound, nothing by sound.
If you drop a feather from a ten story building, it will float to earth very slowly. Therefore, if you drop a feather pillow from a ten sotry building, it too will float to earth slowly.
Wanted: Smart Young Men for Butcher. Able to Cut, Skewer and Serve a Customer.
There are some real bargains listed in advertising from a sale at Rose's department stores. But it says, "All items not available in all stores." So I guess one can't actually buy these bargains at any of their stores.
Members of the jury, you must convict the defendant, if not of murder, then of manslaughter. For when i asked him, "Di you intentionally kill the deceased?" he answered, "No". Thus he himself confesses that he killed, at least unintentionally.
Every member of the jury is liable to error, therefore we can place no confidence in the decision of a jury.
There should be no restrictions on debate in the United States Senate becaue freedom of speech is one of our most valued privileges.
It is reported that at the 1956 Republican Convention someone from the platform reported that he had recently seen President Eisenhower and he did not look well. Instantly, as the story goes, a delegate jumped up and cried: "Washington has fluoridated water, that's the trouble with the President!"
You ought to try to sell more cars this year, Figby, because it will spare your wife the embarassment of a letter from the main office telling her you're slipping.
After deciding to sell his home in Upland, California, novelist Whitney Stine pounded a 'For sale' sign into his front yard, But he deliberately waited to do so until 2:22 P.M. on Thrusday. The house sold three days later for his asking price - $238,000. And Mr. Stine credits the quick sale to the advice of his astrologer, John Bradford, whom he has consulted for 12 years in the sale of five houses."He always tells me the exact time to put out the sign according the the phases of the moon, and the houses have always sold within a few months," Mr. stine Says
A number of persuasive arguments have been advanced in favor of the unification of Ireland. But if all the Protestants in the north are forced to become Catholic, this will only increase the tensions and hatred. Surely, if anything is true, a person should have the right to practice the religion of his or her choice. Thus in light of these facts, it appears that the arguments in favor of unification are not so good after all.
General American Savings and Loan is a great place to put your money. For a $1,000 minimum balance you receive a checking account with no service charges, and for an additional $1,000 they give you a free safety deposit box. On top of that every account is insured for up to $100,000.
Recently Congressional leaders have argued in favor of increaseing the excise tas on cigarettes. But the excise tax is already too high. This is the so-called sin tax that is often supported by those holier-than-thou type Christian such as Jerry Falwell and the Moral Majority. If these people had their way, everyone would live exactly as they dictate. But one of the things that has made this country great is its tremendous variety of life-styles and ways of thinking. We should be proud of our diversity in America
The idea that the universe has a rational order has its roots in the intense human need to make sense of our lives. Once we understand that, we can see that there are no grounds for "rational order" in the universe and we can understand the fact that the universe is absurd and irrational.
To prevent dangerous weapons from being carried aboard airliners, those seeking to board must pass through a magnetometer and submit to a possible pat-down search. Similarily, those entering federal courthouses must allow their attache cases to be checked. Therefore, to prevent alcohol and drugs from being carried into schools, it is appropriate that those entering submit to similar search procedures.
There is a lot of discussion these days about the rights of animals. For example, it is argued that chickens and cows have a right not to be kept in tiny cages that prevent them from moving about and causes them the fatten more quickly on less food. But if chickens and cows are acknowledged as having rights, it won't be long before a case is made for fish and insects. And then we'll be giving rights to plants and bacteria. Rivers, lakes, and mountains will follow close behind. in the end the concept of rights will have become completely meaningless.