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Help With Sat Essay?


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#1 timbruce54

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Posted 23 October 2010 - 10:27 AM

Would any kind person be willing to evaluate this SAT essay (Writing Skills section)? I'm curious about what score you think it might get, but I'm mostly looking for potential improvements that could lead to a better score.  Thank you.

Here is the prompt (the important parts, anyway):

"In her novel _Sense and Sensibility_, Jane Austen wrote, 'It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.' ... the point that Miss Dashwood makes is valid. No amount of time spent in another person's company can guarantee that the two of you will become friends.

What are your thoughts on the idea that neither time nor opportunity can determine intimacy? What causes two people to become friends? Compose an essay in which you express your views on this topic. Your essay may support, refute, or qualify the views expressed in the excerpt..."

And here is the essay:

     I don't agree with the idea that neither time nor opportunity can determine intimacy.  By "intimacy" I think the author is referring to love.  Time and opportunity are two big components in loving someone.  You don't just meet someone someday and decide that you love them.  Love takes time and you also need to have opportunities with that person in order to decide if you really love them or not.

     I also agree with the idea that neither time nor opportunity can determine intimacy.  You need to find connections with that person as well and that's what causes two people to become friends.  You always need to have things in common with your friends because that's usually why you're friends with them.  You also need to get along with that person and care for that person, so that's why I also agree with the idea that neither time nor opportunity can determine intimacy.


#2 maryamshah

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Posted 24 November 2010 - 05:25 AM

Could anyone please guide me on improving on your essay score?

#3 johnhodges

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Posted 12 December 2011 - 03:39 AM

I think how you present your case is more important than the argument itself. Is sounds like your thesis was

"Yes it does -- and good thing, too!"

If you used good grammar, you were halfway there. If the argument flowed logically, that was most of the rest. To ace it, it helps to use big words appropriately, and cite examples that illustrate your depth and breadth of knowledge.
If again you have doubts, the online writers help you to make a good essay.
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#4 soniat

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 09:43 PM

Something else you should look for in your SAT practice test mistakes is if they follow a theme. Are they mostly Algebra? Geometry? Do most of the mistakes occur on grid-ins or is it just multiple choice? After you've found your weakness, you'll know exactly what to work on! Go through practice Math problems  looking for problems that are likely to give you trouble, and try to solve them. If you can't solve a problem, look at the solutions, or find someone who can help.

Remember, the more mistakes you make during practice, the less likely you'll make the same mistakes during the real SAT.

Practice, practice, practice. You'll be thankful you did.

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#5 ammaralmuary

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Posted 10 April 2012 - 12:38 AM

I'm new here , and i think its great that everyone is contributing in this website. just found out about this website! this is awesome ! wish me luck on my SAT 5th may~ :D

#6 icoterziev

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 08:49 AM

I think your essay is too short and you should develop your ideas utterly not only  superficiously (try to write untill the end of the second sheet) . This way you will have a higher chance of getting a 10-12 essay .
P.S i am also taking the 5 May's SAT so fingers crossed!

Edited by icoterziev, 27 April 2012 - 08:51 AM.






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